transformers rox...my life rox too :P

2012-01-12T17:02:00.003+08:00

sighs...2 post in a day...im that emo...

im scared...worried for my friendship...what if people start leaving me cuz of who i am...or they scared of me...or whatever reason...im sick of always going around alone...i wanna be with people...but then when im in a crowd..i get more quiet...such a fail la me..

cant really be sure what kinda person i really am anymore...loner or social?...my future job requires me to be social...but how can i be social when im such a loner...and what if other things happens...so irritating to have so much nonsense in life...i envy those who can live life happy and bouncy...the only time when im happy and bouncy is probably when im with people im really close to...but get to close...also got problem...sick :(

anyway i guess during attachment would be better...meeting new people...can be a problem..expecially they are so christianly...gonna get on my nerves for sure :(

2012-01-12T14:58:00.002+08:00

sians....so long never blog le :P:P:P

anyway just finished exams ^^v

not too bad i guess...next up is attachments and all the other stuffs...kinda excited but also a little stressed...

but sians la...got a lot of other problems to include to my already mounting list of crap

trying to sort out my mind..decisions and other stuffs :(

2012-01-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

sigh...so long since i blog..cuz there wasnt any reason to blog i guess...but still

anyway life still sucks somewhat...having issues with friendships and such...starting to feel like i dun belong anywhere...no one tells me anything...feeling left out...and why the fuck am i even blogging about this anyway...

Omg imback

2011-12-04T12:03:00.001+08:00

Omg I'm back blogging...anyway I'm now at church laughing like mad cux the pastor is so unique and interesting...he should be permanent here but too bad his a guest..he really knows how to think critically...oh wells

Anyway life's been weird...and I'm hoping it will be improving soon...still unsure and uncertain...but let's see how..

2011-09-14T03:01:00.002+08:00

its late at night now...took a break from video editting cuz my compressor is giving problems and using windows live movie maker sucks :(

Anyway went for Christian Basics and i guess you could say that i was...enlightened? i find myself being convinced slowly about this God stuff...dunno if i still subscribe to it...but hey...times like times like this..no harm trying

Another thing..i realized i've developed some sort of mechanisms against demands...definitely a product of 18 years of living with the tyrannous Dad of mine...always demanding and ordering me around to do things...as i grew older i rebelled more :D...and then i realized now...when anybody were to ask me to do something...or want me to do something...or expects me to do something...my mind will automatically generate the opposite answer of what they wanna here...heres some that comes naturally

Go jogging!...NO
Go study...NO
Eat dinner!...NO

GO do this...NO

go out with me...NO

Dont play computer...I want!

dont stay out late...I want!

I realized my mind automatically prevents me from following an order...demand...expectation...and im glad its like this.. least im a free man..and people all know freedom is my number 1 important thing...if there is one person that i can say knows me well its my mum...she knows this very well and she dun demand me to do things..instead she ask.."can you.....?" "do you mind.......?" of course sometimes she slips and demands or commands me to do something." Justin go do the laundary" that to me is a demand...as long as the request does not end with a "?"..i would automatically do the opposite...but i know she tries so sometimes i try to also just take it...

Thinking about it..i realized now im a very troublesome person...i have a lot of weird habits that people need to accept...some i can change if i want to..but this demanding thing and expectation thing...i hate and personally i see no reason to get rid of...why?..because it teaches others not to expect something from another person...everyone is a individual human creation and interactions between each other is..frankly speaking..compusory...everyone has their own assets and no one should ever expect another person to do something...of course in this society its impossible to have such an idealogy...but i think its good cuz it helps both sides...

e.g. if my mum wants me to accompany her to NTUC to but groceries (which i hate!)...she learns how to ask me nicely and give me a choice...she learns how to take no for an answer...as for me...i learn how to suck it in and understand that "yes she is my mum and she appreciates my company..so yes i would go with her." doing this..then it makes it all the more meaningful cuz im following her because im appreciative and also also a reason for me to go..and not just following her for the sake of it...see...both parties benefits...this is also why i never(or at least try not to) scold my BB boys...i want them to know that they are doing drills well not because im demanding it from them..but rather to show others that they are capable...but like i said...in this society its almost impossible and hence..i still end up asking them to do things...but habits do kick in...i realized that most of them times when im angry wtih them i ususally say "can you guys prove to me that you can do it or not?"...lookie at the sentence...its a question ^^ so hey...im not demanding or ordering them around after all :p

But i guess this habit of mine (which i dun plan to remove) will be the most challenging to me when im finding my soulmate...now seriously...which girl in the world will not demand guys do something? if you exist please appear...i'll marry you immediately!...hmm wait...maybe i'll have to marry my mum then -.- shes the closest any female ever got :P...but really...i was thinking i guess if there was a feminist girl maybe she might be like this..i mean feminist thinks that women are equal and women do not need men...so they wouldn't have to depend or demand things from men...so i guess thats close...but damn! i dun wan things to be that extreme...

oh and lookie...i just read one of my fren's status...which says "the best expression of love is time" (Gods signal again?...oh im such a christianly boy ^^)..but i think i agree...uncle terrence said that to find Gods love time is needed..i cant experience God's fullest love in just one day...and i think this is the same for love as well...how long have i known someone...1 week? 1 month? 1 year? 1 decade? how long is enough to find out if you love the person...funny...no one knows...i think my mum and dad knew each other for about 2 or 3 years before they married...and see..my mum made a big mistake :P (damn im mean) but really...how long is enough to know that he/she is the one for you? once again...i think time will tell...only time will expose a person's most inner desires...most inner characteristics...only then will you know if the person is the right one...and of course...the person must know you well also...

ok why the %&$# am i writing all these...from a video converting too this nonsense...dammit...oh wellz...since minecraft is delayed...monster hunter is on a flipping 3DS...i guess i shall entertain myself with games for now :P...pokemon! gotta catch em all...(running away from real problems in progress :P)

2011-09-12T22:41:00.002+08:00

wow its been ages since i blogged...and for good reasons i guess...cuz i always had someone to talk my problems to and he could always listen...even though he may not be empathatic or concerned...its kinda nice to have someone to just listen to me chatter...i dunno..he's just..important...

But now his gone...i've failed badly...instead of helping him..i've made things worst for him..and now he's gone..left me...probably never gonna talk to me again...it hurts like mad...to lose a friend...been trying to cope...been trying to distract...been trying to escape...sometimes it works..sometimes it doesn't...for the most time im just floundering around...hoping my mind will think of something else...

i guess its a lost thing here...i might as well salvage the most i can...and try to go on...im lucky i have people who i can at least talk to...kor never fails to cheer me up..even though his methods sometimes irritates me :P but for the most time its nice (hope his not reading this :P) then theres Julius...who in a sense kinda taken over my lost friends position...listening to me be emo and sad and my problems...his nice too :P...then theres my secondary school frens...who also cheers me up..even though my frenship with them is also at risk..

These past few days i realized something terrible about myself...something that i wouldnt actually wanna say here...but its fair to those who are important to me to know this...even im afraid of myself now...i dunno anything about myself..im not sure about anything about myself anymore...i realized im actually a very unloyal person...it seems that i cant like only 1 person...i realized this when i was in the sad days when i just lost that friend...i was always thinking of other people who were important to me...and quite a few came up...and some of which i actually realized that i had some feelings for..i was horrrified at myself for having such thoughts...but of course JU made me feel slightly better by saying that its alright...as long as 1 at a time..haha...but i think he was mean...girls aren't like transformers toys or something...they are human and real...and guys shouldnt treat them like objects...but maybe im just thinking too much...im sure he didnt mean it that way :p

gar...i think to keep the people around me safe..i better stay single for life...i dun wanna end up hurting another person...at least i now know my weakness...its either temptation or commitment... and im a danger to others in that sense..its fair that people dun get affected by my problems...i guess its fate that i'll never get what i want...maybe somewhere in the world exist "the one" for me...maybe they are already around me...or maybe i dun even know them yet...whatever it is...i just hope life gets better from now...even though i only see it get worst and worst...

2011-08-20T22:45:00.002+08:00

Why...why did things have to be like this...i thought it was going so well..but yet this happened..and im not sure if its ever gonna get better...my wishes to be happier is almost gone now...im gonna slap on a mask from now on...im not gonna let the people around me be affected..cuz for this one im alone in it...for some reason i need a shoulder to cry on...someone who i can talk about all this to..and that someone is probably angry with me now...and possibly hating me as well...

I know there are a lot of other people who cares...but im sorry...nows not the time...im probably gonna ignore messages or call...unless im feeling ok...its not that im angry with anyone...im just...not in a state...im most truthful and transparent online or during calls and sms...but now..not even those channels will make me be transparent...

I wish there was someone that knew me...that could be with me...that i could talk to...i had that opportunity to have such a person...but only a few months...because of my mistake this poor person is paying the price...so am i...

life sucks

2011-08-08T00:03:00.005+08:00

sighs...i realized how lousy i am...im losing my social skills...losing my friends...people probably dun like to be around me...maybe thats why sometimes people play games without me...or they go out without inviting me...perhaps im really not nice to be around me.

you know...i realized minecraft is such a great game...you are alone in a world...all yours to build...you can do anything you wan...at most perhaps you could tame a wolf and then that can be your friend...but other than that you're the only human around...its so peaceful..

or perhaps fallout...alone in a desolete world...fighting for survival...meeting people and trying to be friends...or perhaps just shoot them in the back...but at least you're in control of your own life...not another person in control of you...

or maybe Borderlands...yet another desolete world...but with people who wants to be your friends...once again...you are in control...no one else is controling your life

and why not oblivion...a fantasy world...so different from this world we live in...fantasy worlds are so much more beautiful...so much more peaceful...even though there may be evil there...but you can pick up a sword and fight evil..or just settlle down and farm...so much possibilities

sighs...why cant i be in any of those places...anywhere but here...where i have to be obligated to others...where others try to control my life...where i have to always make sure others are happy...and the worst part...i never felt more alone...this world made me feel more alone than any other game...and yet its such a bad thing...cuz i found great people here...found people worth making frens with...but then...there are just ass holes in the world that makes me wanna escape to another place...to live another life...in another world...

FU

2011-08-04T10:01:00.002+08:00

You know...i remember reading someone else facebook status saying "a man who takes out his anger on his wife is no father of mine" yes it is true...that bastard may be my father by name but not by heart...

Heres the full story...as usual i was at home alone...minding my own business...at peace with everything...then kor kor called me to discuss project so we were talking on the phone...then then bastard came home...i heard him but i couldnt care less cuz the project was getting irritating...then he came in to the room holding his fish worm food and looking like an ass hole...he mumbled something but i was talking on the phone so he just stood there and looked at me like a turd he is...so i told kor to wait while i found out what the hell he wanted...he told me that the fridge was spoilt and started saying that its becuz i never close properly and it spoilt....so i "orh" him and went back to work...im more concerned about my project that his unjustified accusations that he is so prone of doing. so he left the room and started mumbling about me using too much computer...yea...typical woosie.

so then my mum came home and then i heard him complaining about the fridge and me using too much com...at that point i lost all concentration on project cuz im worried...i hate it when he takes the problem to my mum cuz he will accuse her for not doing anything but actually she did...she does things in a better and nicer way that that bastard and thats why we (me and bro) loves her more and tells her more things. the bastard felt like he was a bad person so he always accuse my mum for letting him be a bad person..well simply put...you are a bad person becuz you cant fucking speak in a peaceful manner in front of others...you cant put your message thru without having to raise your voice just cuz you think its more powerful that way...i spit in response to that...but already did that before so no point.

so of course after settling the project hastily i went to confront him...i made it clear to him that any problem i cause him he should come directly to me and not my mum...i dun wan my mum to be responsible for my actions...so i told that to him...then to be nice i asked him what he wanted from me...then he launched into a lengthy nag about all the things he wants...me go uni..me get results...me use less com..me spend more time outside watching tv rather than in the room...the electric bills...me and my bro sleeping early...just to name a few...all this time i was ignoring...cuz i know him well...i could simplify everything for him...but i did not at that point cuz i was overwhelmed at the fact that he never cared about me or my well being...all he cared about was the results...so i left the room in a huff and also a little bit of tears in my eye.

i went to my room...switch off the light and com..since he wan to save electricity and me use less com...and then i just broke down and cried...i couldnt take it...i always had to score good results even though im not the study type..i try my best..sometimes it pays off..sometimes it doesnt...but he expects me to always get good results...and i regret scoring well for year 1...cuz now i set myself a target that i probably cant maintain...im sick of having to worry about results cuz there are things like exams...

so i was crying there...i heard my bro come home but i didnt care...then i heard the bastard came out of one of the rooms...i heard him shouting at my mum about him always being the bad guy..then he went to the room and slammed the door...right then and there...something took over me...i stopped crying immediately...i wanted him dead...cold stone dead...i wanted him to die...i wanted him out of my life...thats was the anger i felt...becuz even after i told him not to take it out on my mum...that shit eating, dog raping, filthy, cunt faced, dickhead of an asshole still did it...anger and rage took over me...but i tried to calm down...changed the murderous side to the feeling of wanting to be alone instead...to calm myself first...then i went into the room and confronted him again...i still had anger...i gave him the murderous stare that my whole family knew i could give..a stare that silenced many kids and scared many friends...i gave that to him...and confronted him why did he still scold my mum...i knew then and there he panicked...cuz he did not shout back..he did not look at me..he just said "i never scold her..i only say her" (direct translation from chinese)...then i said that wasnt saying cuz he shouted and slammed the door...i know he scolded...and he knew that too..cuz then he just started ignoring me...i asked him once again what he wanted from me...cuz it seems like he got lots of problem with me..so i wanted to know...once again he launched into his fucked up nagging about what he wanted...his story about him not earning more money...accused me of comparing him with other richer parents (like a give a fuck) and so on...all this time i talked in a calm and polite voice...but that ass just shouted or raise his voice...

first of all i acknowledge his stress...its not easy for him cuz he's a contract worker and can lose his job anytime..he's the main provider as well...and both son's are still studying..jaymond's gonna go to tertiary soon and its gonna put more stress on him...all these i can understand...what i hate about him is he drags my mum into it with his scolding...if my mum wants to be involve she has her own way to do it...and bloody hell is it a better way that his...my mum cares for us..and she has her way of doing so...that bastard maybe cares for us...but the way he does things never goes...and from the way he speaks...he doesnt really give a damn about my well being..i told him that i was stressed...i told him that i might not live up to his expectation...does he care...nope..he simply shruggs it off and than continue his speech about how i need good grades and all...his speech took like bloody 20-30 minutes...and all those time i was just hearing...not listening...cuz i knew what was coming...i knew ultimately what he wanted...he doesn't care about how i feel...all he wants is me to be the person HE wants me to be...and just to check if im right...i asked him "ok so simply put, you want me to use less computer right?" fucker said "YA" so proudly like as if he got his message thru...why thank you...thank you for caring only about the computer....thank you for caring only about my results...he wants me to talk to the family more?...well do they know why im on the com...cuz im talking to my friends who does a bloody hell better job understanding me than that filthy piece of crap. I have friends and lecturers who cares more about me than my own father...do you know how sucky that is?

you know...after writing all this...i ask myself "why the hell do i care?" currently all i need him to do is earn the money...i probably wont cry during his funeral...i mean i wont be happy either...but i wont grief the loss...probably now..too early to say...maybe i do still care for him...but for now...he is my father by title...but not by heart.

P.S. any of my mum's friends reading this..please do not let my mum know about this post...she will get all upset that other people know about it...she doesnt have a facebook so she wouldnt know about his blog or be redirected here...she is stressed enough as it is...this post is like a rant but also to show that sometimes...seeing me happy is just one great BIG mask i have to put on...becuz i dun wan the people around me to be sad...but i also dun want to lie to these people that cares for me...so heres what happens behind closed doors...im confident that only those who cared about me would have clicked that link on facebook...so thank you whoever is reading this for being in my life :)

2011-07-15T16:58:00.002+08:00

Whoa i cant believe wad i just did...anyway screw the readme design..i got no patience for it

ok so well...stressed as usual...nothing much changed..im still pissed...my mood is in control...affecting people around me...so i decided to post here...perhaps as clarifying...and also future warning

so yea...things havent been stable at all...been really stressed out with another friend..but not his fault really...and im slowly losing my social skills...i found out that i no longer liked to talk verbally to people...and that im so cautious over talking to them...i put on a mask immediately when im in front of others...so that my proper mood will not affect them...i dun wanna be sad and "emo" and cause people around me to feel it..so best is to be happy..laugh along...smile a lot and hope people will accept it...but damn..not easy when yu have a kor kor that can see thru you so easily...was in school and was masking by being happy and chatting...then kor looked at me and immediately said "your mask today very thick yes please" :P...oh well..i tried...

and also...confession time...some of the calls from people i have been deliberatly ignoring...not because i hate them...but becuz it just so happen that they call at a time that i wanna be alone...and this times are usually plentiful...i love the idea of isolation...no one to disturb me..im not responsible for anyone..no one is responsible for me...its good...so please...its not that i hate you all...its just that at this point..there are only some people that i really wanna tlak to..but that doesn't mean i like them more than the rest of you

and finally...just happened few minutes ago...talk about experiential learning...*prays people will not start calling the moment they see this*...i just cut myself...just a small one i swear! see if i can lie my way thru till it heals..in the mean time...Justin fell and cut his wrist :P

2011-06-19T23:48:00.003+08:00

ReadMe 8
Version 2001.6.19

Back from HK...enjoyed myself there...kinda wished i could stay there though...

So just to summarise the whole thing...basically on monday we flew off to HK and landed around 1 plus i think...the plane ride was enjoyable...but the landing was bumpy...we arrived and met our tour guide...called BOBO...really funny lady and really nice...so we had lunch first and it was ok i guess...after that we started to visit some famous places in HK..namely ladies market...victoria peak and symphony of lights...was ok and quite basic i guess...nothing much...then we checked into our hotel...now that was cool cuz it had a bathtub and i was soaking myself there...peace :D

So the next day...tuesday...we visited 3 of the university in HK...quite interesting...to learn about how they learn social work...they can even advocate openly...something singapore will never allow...wow...no wonder social work there is so solid. Oh and we had to wear blazers and boy that was terrible..cuz the weather there was crappy and hot..like singapore...so of course i was perspiring like a mad man...so after the visits we went back to the hotel and then we decided to go roaming around HK...so we were exploring the area around our hotel and found a place that sells transformers...obviously i went crazy there...then we took a taxi to harborcity mall...and there i found heaven...in the form of toys r us..haha..the transformers there were awesome..it was like 20% cheaper than singapore...and also there were tons of it there...i was stuck there so long to the point that nicholas and teddy had to lie to me about having to meet jocelyn so that i would make my purchases and leave the place...rawr! so after that we went to search for dinner and we found a place that sold fresh and cheap sashimi...damn lots of money was spent there :P

So the next day we visited st james settlement...which was a social work agency there...we met the in charge called josephine and she was such an inspiring speaker...so after that we went out to ladies market again...this time to go shopping around and we tried the roast goose there...it was awesome...nick and ted always ordered pidgeon...but i ate a bit and was sick cuz i felt so sad for the poor pidgeon :P

Then on thursday...we went to visit the various sectors of caritas..another social work agency..it was interesting and we ended at caritas college...there we met fellow people who were also studying a similar level of social work as us..it was really fun there and i wished we could have stayed longer...haha...but of course after the visit the whole class went crazy cuz that was the last official study visit...which means its fun time!!!...on the bus back we were just talking nonsense and laughing like mad...when the bus went down a slope...we were so crazy and random that all of us went "WHEEEEEE" for no reason at all..haha! :D so when we got back to the hotel me ted and nick went our seperate ways...teddy went out with his parents while nick went out with some of the girls...for we i continued to explore the area around the hotel alone...so fun to be alone in a place i was not familiar in...was exciting..i tried macdonalds there...mcspicy...it sucks...simple as that. :P then i went to get a transformer at one of the malls..when i got out i realized it was raining and i did not bring my umbrella...damn..so crazy old me went ahead and ran in the rain all the way back to the hotel..so i was drenched there and took a nice warm bath :D

so on friday...we went to disneyland...was kinda magical there...was quite boring actually cuz i wasn't a very disney person...but i still enjoyed myself there...there was only one rollercoaster there...the space mountain...my frens and i spammed the coaster 4 times till i had a headache :P...at night we watched the fireworks...what a beauty :,)

then on saturday...it was going home time...but before that we went to the factory outlet mall to do last minute shopping...no transformers there...damn -.-...we head to the hotel and said goodbye to BOBO...then boarded the A380!!!...haha...A380s i think is really overated...it felt the same as the normal sq that we came in...so not much different i guess...but still..it was fun...haha...and both take off and landing was bumpy and rocky...with turbulence during the journey..so damn fun :D

yeap so thats about all i guess...theres more but im lazy to type it all...or i forgot :P...but the thing i realized there is that i felt better about myself..if a werid way...jocelyn's family was there which meant both her kids were there too...daryl and cheryl...i was playing with them throughout the whole journey...haha...cheryl was really shy but slowly she opened up to me...that made me feel good cuz cheryl was really young...and i remmebered loads of people telling me that really young kids naturally know if someone means harm to them or are nice to them...and to me...im sick of people doubting me and thinking im a bad person...but i know cheryl did not see me as that and that made me feel much better :P

oh well...so now back in s'pore...and got into more crap which i did not want...and was out of my control...so i guess its back to life once again...

2011-05-25T00:42:00.000+08:00

I guess things just had to be this way

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ReadMe:7

Version:2011.5.25

I wont be the same again...im sorry...for those around me...i might not be able to be myself for sometimes...sorry if it will affect you people

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Well i guess things had to turn out like this...i've tried my best...but there are somethings that are just out of my control...somethings that are decisions of others that i cant control...and they have made their choice...and even though it is not the worst choice...its will still result in me slowly being tortured by the fact...so i also have made my decision...and that is to wrench myself away from this...so that i take the full hurt at once..rather than slowly...

i guess things actually can be quite good...i mean im still allowed to meet these frens...and to talk to them...but that one decision...will slowly make our frenship go down...and it will slowly tear us apart...and i would rather end this frenship at one shot...rather than end it slowly...im not sure if its the right choice...and i know its not fair for you guys as well...that you had no say in this...but i know myself...and i know that the situation now...theres too much animosity for our friendship...

Im gonna clear up the mess i've made...that i will...but then after that...im unsure...but i'll probably leave church...it took me 17 years to make the decision to follow christ...but all it took was a few people to make me doubt...and it wasn't even you guys who cause it...thats why its unfair...but thats how things are...i'll see how things turn out..but in church...i never felt is as a home...everywhere i look people seem so cold to me...i feel like i dun belong there...and perhaps i dun...im not sure about this...but there will be a high chance that i'll be leaving the place...as for leaving christianity...we'll see how things go...

its hard for me to make this decision...and even now im tearing about the loss of you friends...and its not your fault at all..its my decision...but i have my reasons...all these may change in future...who knows...but as of now...thats how things are...its better to feel one huge hurt...rather than to be hurt slowly overtime...trust me...it hurts to do this...i feel the pain in my heart literally right now :( i still have this small shimmer of hope for things...but its fading...slowly....

2011-05-19T00:49:00.002+08:00

Life is never easy...

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ReadMe 6
Version: 2011.5.19

Confused
and still confused

Guilty

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Sigh...things just really isnt going the way i want it to be is it?...i wan you to be happy...but that will make another party sad...i also want the other party to be happy...but i know that would make you sad...i search my heart...to see where it belongs...but what i saw was a heart that was split...and both party will not be happy to have only half...but have they ever thought...to have a heart split into half...who is the one that is hurt the most?...Me...every night i ask myself how fair is it to be like this...to only share half of me with each of you...but how can i control?...this is something i cant control...i would love to be able to control it...but both of you know better that such things cant be controlled...either way..one have to be hurt...and frankly speaking...i already made the decision...there is only one person that occupied my mind...one person that i had even thought of spending my life with...and that is my choice...but i cant bring myself to tell the other party...of fear that i would hurt that person...and lose a friend...so all im doing now is buying time...and lying to that person...

I am confident...the correct choice is reading this post right now...yes you...i know you're reading it now :) dun worry...i told you before that my heart is with you and i intend to keep that promise...give me some time...stay confident...cuz im very sure you are reading this post right now :)..and the other party doesn't read my blog one...im still trying to settle this...and frankly speaking...its not going well...so far both party are still neutral...but im the one with the most pain and confusion...i know i need to handle this...but its not easy with so many things...people dun trust me...thinking that i might be some worthless and useless person...and perhaps i really am...who knows...i dun even know myself right now...and now reading my own post...i realized that this post is seriously just me pouring out all my fear...sadness...distress and confusion...seeing how cluttered my thoughts are...but dun worry :D...nothing has changed since the last time we talked :D and just to triple confirm that you really are my right choice...6 more days ;)

2011-05-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

To confused to think of a phrase

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ReadMe 5
Version: 2011.5.8

Confused
Irritated
Lost
Stressed
Annoyed
Sad

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Sigh...need to release some feelings here...been confused so much...

Have to think about others and how to ensure that they are happy...but i dunno why...im always trying to give in to others and their request...but no one seem to do the same for me...maybe its becuz i dun say it out...but i know that i naturally want to satisfy others but sometimes it hurts to know that the same is not done for me....on the other hand...people who try to satisfy me go to such extreme...to the point that i felt disappointed with myself...so in the end im still in sadness...im so sick of this...

I really dunno how to handle this anymore...im trying to settle things one by one but thats not going well too...why must my life be so damn complicated...i wish for a simple life...but i cant i guess....maybe its fate that i'll have to go thru this as a lesson or maybe a form of learning...but sometimes its a little too hard...

I dunno..im still hoping that things will smoothen out...and nothing more complicated happens...and by the way...I HATE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO! :(

2011-05-03T18:33:00.002+08:00

Past few months been rocky

Phrase of this post: worry about the future, for it affects your actions in the present

Basically its more or less about thinking about your future...becuz if you think about the consequences in future..it will help you make a better choice now...most of the time at least :P

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ReadMe 4
Version: 2011.5.3

Changelog:
Been through quite a bit
School is getting tedious (not good)
Getting stressed
But also got love <3

Been really long since i last posted eh...but good also...those who still read are probably those who cared for me...hee hee..nah just kidding...but still...lifes been kinda rough...got ups and downs so far...so im gonna try and condense about 2 months of info into this post.

So schools reopen and its back to school...well not really enthu about it cuz the modules we are learning this semester is kinda boring...but before i bore you people...lets talk about the more fun thing first...the year 1 orientation :D...so our class made a separate orientation for our juniors and it was a blast!...had so much fun.its was actually quite the typical orientation kinda stuff...games...time to bond...things like that...but what made it special was that everyone was so into it and really making the most ouut of the orientation...its was great to see our effort pay off in the smiles of the year 1s

But of course...good things must end and its back to school...Boooooo! so this sem we are learning things like, working with special needs, working with older adults, program planning, crisis intervention, research methods and marketing...seriously..this line up is terrible...none of them is something im interested in..so obviously i have no motivation to study...and to seal this parcel of Sh*t...we have the GSM which is entrepreneurship to seal the deal -.-...terrible...so of course the whole class was mad with the GSM and there were lots of swearing and cursing...but what to do..we're under the poly law -.- but we have a new lecturer and she is a pretty nice lady...looking forward to getting to know her more :P

but during the course of study..i finally confessed to her...again :P...haha..for those who dun know...too bad...but if you're close enough to me..then you will know...:P...im so happy she agreed abt we're together now..im really unsure about the future ahead and how things will turn out...but still...hope everything is fine and our love will stay strong <3

thats actually about all...eh...2 months only but my life still not quite happening lei...actually got lots more to say but lazy to type :P...haha...but once again...i felt like writing an appreciation section cuz these people in my life means a lot to me...not including my family of course...and in no order of merits :P i just felt a need for this becuz i never had real friends in my life before...im the loner kind of guy and it was mostly becuz of my secondary school life...but im glad for these people who are in my life now to show me the brighter side of life :D

1)korkor: who has always been there for me and must tahan thru all my tedious-ness...always making me laugh at the thousands of monkey faces he can make...and just being an awesome friend :D

2)Darling<3 : for not giving up on me and holding on to me...and giving me another chance and being part of my life...i hope that this will withstand the test of time and everything else that life throws at us :D

3)Haka, alex, edwin: for being my loyal friends and always exploring obscure corners of gaming with me...and all the adventures we had in minecraft, monster hunter, patapon, battlefield and probably many more :D

4) peggy..for being part of my trustees and also offering guidance and advice to me...and bring laughs to my life. for being one of those who guided me to God and always being a great friend :D

5)Edward: for being a great big reflective mirror to me...and giving me a chance to explore more about myself as much as you are exploring more about yourself :D

6)My fellow social scientist: for just being the most awesome class i ever had :D

7)Julius: for being my hunting partner and also my "shifu" in the aspect of love...haha :P

8)my lecturers : for being an awesome mentor and inspiring people to me that i can respect :D showing me the side of life that i want to pursue and always motivating me to carry on studying :D

Well theres more i guess...but these are those that stood out the most during this past 2 months...thanks for being there for me and being part of my life :D

2011-03-02T22:17:00.002+08:00

Such an awesome day i had!!!

Phrase: damn you need good frens in life :D

Haha...self explanatory :D

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ReadMe: 3

Version: 2011.3.2

Changelog:

Super happy :D

Reinforce my friendship with those whom i treasure :D

Whoa...what an awesome day together...but first...thanks to all who wished me happy birthday...be it from facebook...sms...telepathy:p..whichever..thanks you :D

So today was one of the first and only (if im not wrong) birthday in which i voluntarily went out to celebrate. Started of with CJ inviting me to go out and go with her to harborfront to pass her fren soemthing...then we celebrate my birthday...at first wanted to ask kor kor oso..but he said he had driving and could not come...was hoping i could celebrate with all my poly class mates...or at least my trustees...

So then i went out and me and CJ went to vivo city...her fren was late so we bought sushi...i got meself salmon sashimi :P...CJ said her fren reached and told me to wait and eat while she go meet her fren...so i was sitting there alone and gobbling up my food :P...then i got a message from CJ...lazy to write the whole thing...but basically it was painting a pretty interesting story about me being Justin Prime and having to go on a Quest to save the world :D...was quite puzzled :P...so the message said that i had to look for an overhead bridge to harborfront...and being the turtle i am..i was lost :P...so in desperation..i called edwin (secondary school close fren...still close now :D ) cuz i know he works at sentosa and always go to vivo...so i asked him for directions...and he guided me all the way to the bridge and waved to me form afar...during the journey there i was oso telling him about how "those little monkeys left me to find my way"...but when i reached edwin...he gave me the cheeky smile and said that he was one of those monkeys :P...

At that point i was so shocked...i never expected edwin to be involved cuz he was my secondary school fren and haven't really met my poly frens...i was super puzzled then...so edwin gave me a quest card...saying that i had to answer all the monster hunter questions on it...and if i get one wrong i had to shout out loud "I love monster hunter!"...im proud of myself that i could answer some of those questions cuz they really were difficult...but i failed 3 questions so i had to shout 3 times :P...after that edwin passed me the next clue and rushed off.

Next clue told me to go to skypark so i hurried there...and found CJ sitting there...so she passed me the quest card..which was to take 10 "act cute" picture with 10 random people...my goodness was that the hardest..after what seems like 20-30 minutes of finding and thickening my skin..finally got those 10 and moved on.

Next i had to decipher an alphabetical equations...and since yours truly stinks at maths...i never solved it so CJ had to give me clues :p..i was supposed to head to suntec city food republic for luch so we went over...i ordered chicken rice and CJ passed me a warning card...which was that i had to eat the chicken rice only with toothpicks...can use as many as i want...so after getting the technique right i got everything down :D...she passed me the next clue which was to head to the fountain of wealth.

Once there we met Peggy...my poly trustee oso...her challenge was that i had to go around the fountain searching for puzzle bags and solving the puzzle...any missing piece i had to run one round around the fountain...turns out i had 4 missing pieces but peggy was merciful...she made me wave to a random uncle eating an apple but uncle never see :P...but still counted :D...then after that she called someone and that someone told me the next clue...i did not recognize the voice at all :P

So after a short break...we headed off to singapore river..peggy couldn't join us cuz she said she had to go to church...so after a super long walk...finally reached the "longkang" and i was supposed to search for a chicken statue...i was hopeless and i found out that i have been staring at the chicken's backside all thsoe time..just never knew it was a chicken :P...then there alex boo-ed me from behind...yes alex...another secondary school fren..who did not really know my poly frens...so of course i was surprised again...he told me i had to sing 2 nursery rhymes to the chicken -.-...damn...so after that i got my present..which was darkmount and the clue to the next place...which was clarke quay station...we went with alex cuz he had to rush off back to school for cca...so after he reached he was like "Bye Justin, Hi Zhong ming!"

I turned around and was so shocked to see Hakim and Zhong Ming...yet another 2 of my secondary school frens who this time..Totally dunno my poly frens :P...damn...they told me i had to animate 5 out of 12 of the monster hunter weapons move adn after that..choose one to make a weapon out of scrap material...i made a longsword which was an impact weapon instead :P and armed with that sword and an optimus prime mask...yes they gave me that :P...CJ lead me on the train to marina bay and marina barrage.

There i met none other than kor kor...who was "supposed" to be driving...he was my last boss which i had to defeat in a mini game similar to scissors paper stone...i won...but i knew he gave it to me one...but still...i won so i completed my quest...so finally...he lead me up the lift to the roof of the barrage and told me to close my eyes...i was lead to a place and suddenly...i was pelted with water bombs!

After i opened my eyes i saw all of them...yes even those who said they had to be somewhere else...all there smiling..and damn that was such a great feeling to have... :D we had food and ate and laughed about the screw up i had in my journey :D

Then towards the end edwin joined us again with edward in tow...and that completed the whole event...oh lets not forget edwin also splashed water all over me :P

My goodness they really made my day...im so blessed to have frens like all of them but what really sealed the whole day with happiness was the fact that the impt people in my secondary school life and impt people in my poly life both came together to celebrate my birthday...that really was the best 18th birthday i could ever want :D...Thanks all of you for being in my life :D

2011-01-15T00:41:00.002+08:00

Normal day...as usual :P

Phrase: Good cannot exist without evil

Yes...another phrase from Transformers...i know this kinda disagree with the concept that Christianity adopts which is " evil exist because of the lack of presence of good"...but still , the general idea is there...so i guess sometimes we cant really curse the presence of evil...cuz think about it...a world of good really is a better place...but its possibly impossible :P...

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ReadME: 2

Version: 2011.1.15

ChangeLog:

-changed the songs in the blog

-met up with frens to play MH

-said i would study but did not

Well...im guessing you all would notice that i changed the song already...i really liked the first one..its kinda like a music video of an awesome game im playing now: Minecraft

So today was kinda normal...woke up...late as usual...and then ate brunch and met up with ryan...for those who dun know...ryan is what i like to call a roaming Christian :P...basically he is one of those who comes around knocking on doors and talking about the bible...i know most of you probably would kindly decline...but for me...i usually allow them to speak their mind...and its not becuz im oso christian...FYI...he visited me the first time a few months ago..when i was still big time atheist...but for me...i always let them say their share...then share my views...i know he is sincere about sharing the gospel becuz even after i became Christian...he still visits regularly and we will discuss about things...so he is not the kinda that simply come JUST to make you Christian...and i believe the rest are the same too...so do give them the chance :D

so then after that i met up with alex and hakim to go hunting...had fun...as usual...and ate dinner outside...and halfway thru i met joel...who promptly pestered me to go for BB parade cuz i have not been going for ages! but joel forgot one vital point...he tried to force me to go...now people all know that once you force me to do something...its already a lost cause :P...but still...perhaps i'll go back one of these days...

well then so basically nothing much...got projects...exams coming...actually said i would study today...but knowing myself...of course i did not :P

2011-01-13T21:29:00.003+08:00

New phase for his blog...from now on its gonna be formated like a readme...just for fun :D My phrase of the post will come first...then after that the readme :D

Phrase: Anything can be fun as long as you're having fun :D

Well i learnt this thru so many project...really dun wanna elaborate more...but basically, even when things dun seem fun, you can always make up your own fun :P

well anyway below is the readme, which is basically the post :P

version=date

Changelog= major events

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ReadME: 1

Version: 2011.1.13

Changelog:

-screwed up my groupwork

-Got a stress attack, for the first time

-managed to handle it

-struggling with the workload

-had outing with trustee

Well so basically schools taking a toll on me, especially the projects. Kinda overloading but its not really becuz of the workload, but rather the stress from the other group. It not like i got no faith in my group, but it like when i look at other groups, they seems so much better. i think its my style as usual, always thinking negatively

But i was reading Jocelyn's Christmas note for me...it says "Dear Justin, may you have more CONFIDENCE & SELF-BELIEF in 2011. Have a happy new year! Cheers, Jocelyn" and i realized how much people care for me. Im always thinking that no one gives a damn about me and just treat me like im part of a wall. But i realized in not true for all cases...Jocelyn is my lecturer and most lecturer only bothers about my studies, but she is such a caring mentor and is able to locate my weaknesses in life. Just knowing that she knows make me feel better already...and of course i have my trustees which i trust with probably my life (kor kor is a trustee too...duh!). So i should count my blessings and stop thinking so much of what i dun have but rather think about the things i have :D ( MY GOSH!!...something positive actually came out from me :P)

well then with that thought...im hoping it will get me thru this semester, seriously i cant wait for it to end...Its been like a roller coaster ride for me, full of ups and downs and its seriously not my style. im simply hoping to get thru the exams well enough and hope that next sem wont be so bad...but still, had my share of fun so no complains there :D

and also, recently started playing minecraft...its the best game when it comes to de-stressing...trust me :D

alright thats about all...just finished editing slides and if theres nothing more, maybe gonna go de-stress :P

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2011-01-08T23:24:00.003+08:00

WOW...the open house was a blast...but before that...the phrase of the post is :

Sometimes Fire in your heart is not so easily extinguished...

Sigh...not sure how many of you all will be able to infer this message...but i probably wont be elaborating it so much since its personal

So on to it...NYPSS OPEN HOUSE WAS A BLAST! yeap..past 3 days was nyp open house and perhaps some of you attended it...but realized i said NYPSS and not NYP...well becuz i believe if i was in another course i may not have that much fun...i really believe it truly was the people in social sciences class that made this event such a great one...love you all! :D

so of course..first day was apprehensive...really did not know how things will turn out...at the start it was kinda worrisome..since it appeared like there was not going to be anyone...but suddenly...there were floods of students coming in due to the school tour and their secondary school sending them to nyp...my goodness...our class became so crowded that we had hardly enough room to move...i found myself going hyper and moving around doing as much things as i can to make the most out of time...and of course...i believe that most of my classmates were doing the same too...then in the afternoon...the chaos continues but i was down at the atrium and i nearly fell asleep...damn was it boring...we were there for about 3.5 hours and it was the worst...there was not much interaction and probably the only funny thing was seeing Jim(our lecturer) on one of the TV screens introducing our course...boy that was funny...it kinda looks like crime watch where the police person was talking about crime and all...it was hilarious...but other than that...nothing much

then we went to the second day and the crowd we got simmered down to a manageable amount...its was kinda the same as the first day...but this time it was all the way into the night...and around 8 plus..some of my frens when ape shit and started dancing to funny music and just getting really high and crazy...boy this really is the first time experiencing such funny and awesome classmates :D...really made my day :D

then the last day was boring...kinda...since it was saturday there wasn't much traffic...so we had a lot of slack time where we listen to Jim and Jocelyn and all the funny things they had to say...my gosh we were laughing like mad...then of course 3 of my frens were geniuses by going for the school tour when it was meant for outsiders :P...and they actually managed to escape detection...even though jerry and CJ's face was printed in the course booklet and there is a gigantic poster that was about 3 storey high with CJ's face as one of the pics...my gosh..the experience they shared made me laugh once again...but of course...my mood had to be ruined by this person with the very cocky kinda face...jeez...for some reason i really could not control myself and now i owe CJ 6 lollipops for swearing 6 times :P

well so as you can see...was quite an eventful 3 days...and probably the best open house i ever attended/organized/helped in...and like i said...this Joy was becuz of the people around me...so thanks class for making this experience possible :D

2011-01-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

alright...back again...and fine already :P

This time no joke...but a poem i heard from nigahiga...roses are red, violets are blue...then what the hell is the colour violet?

i laughed like mad at this...but it makes a good point :P

anyway..everythings fine now...so back to normal...sigh...school starts tmr and what a curse...all the secondary school people gets one more day of holidays except poly students...damn...we poly students are like adults so like our parents...we wont get extra holiday...well then since we're like adults...why cant we take leave like adults too :(...no fair :P

anyway...projects are going so so...homework im hoping is all done...went for a wedding just now and now have small headache...but after the wedding i now cant wait to get married and start a family :P...haha...its like such an interesting phase of my life...but my style still stays...not willing to sacrifice freedom...i still need to play play...or not later when go work no time to play liao :P

ok then..so now with the prospect of facing school and a tsunami of projects...and finally...the judgement day of exams...its time for me to go sleep :P

2011-01-02T00:52:00.002+08:00

Mood is in the all time low now...its 12.52 am...i cant sleep...not until something happens...but i've been waiting...but it did not happen...i've been hoping...but it never came :( and this reminds me of a phrase.

"I now understand the true meaning of time. For it is the bond between friends that give time its meaning" - Vector Prime

Sigh...i believe i said before...being ignored is the worst thing that can happen to me, or that you can do to me. Most of my frens now already know that im a pessimistic person...im trying to think more positively, but my upbringing has made me see the good in negative thinking and this is hard to change...so when im being ignored...my head immediately starts working overtime and i start to wonder why im being ignored...what have i done to deserve it...or what the other party is going to do...i hate the feeling...i've already felt like a wall for so long...so such things really pains me and brings me down to deep-six. i constantly feel pain in my heart (literally...my chest sometimes may suddenly hurt) as i feel alone and ignored...have you people ever had this weird feeling when a bunch of people all leave together leaving you behind in a room...theres this weird feeling you will have that will tempt you to quickly go catch up...or at least...thats how i feel...i dun like being left behinds...the feeling affects me quick greatly...

So why am i still awake at this time?...i really dunno too...i did not sleep yesterday due to countdown and playing with frens...by right today i should be sleeping like a pig..but i cant...i cant fall asleep...i hope i will soon...the faster i sleep means the faster i escape the feeling of loneliness...i've been waiting...but it never came...im so used to having this "ritual" at night that now when suddenly it does not happen it feels so weird...

What worries me more is that i think the person is angry with me...i dunno...perhaps my negative mind is working again...but why else will he (no its not a girlfren) ignore me totally...sms...calls..everything short of me going straight to his house...have i made you angry?...if i did please tell me...dun ignore me...what happened to confrontation...or self-disclosure...or all those things we learnt...why use the method that will hurt me the most...i know it will never be your intention to hurt...but then i need to tell you...it hurts...no one can understand how it feels...when you have only a few people you can trust and treasure as frens...and these people ignores you...it leaves you an empty vessel at sea...lost with the same scene in all direction...you know how that feels...to be lonely...all you people are lucky...to have so many frens that you can throw some away and still have others...well too bad for me..i only have some frens who i can say i would trust my life to...so when they are gone...i might as well go hide in a forest and stay away from civilization...do you know how awesome a forest is...to be alone in there...since im already alone..might as well go spend some time with trees...or freaking ghost that calls your name pleadingly...

hmm...even as i read thru what i've typed...it doesn't seem to make sense...im just pouring out everything once again to this place..thanks Mr.blog for always taking my crap...

i dunno...i can dare say that im just being paranoid here...and probably everything will be fine soon...but it does not change the fact that im in my lowest of moods now...its no ones fault except mine...im sure any of you when faced with this will get thru it..but i cant..im not the kind that can get thru this..becuz frens are too impt to me...did you know that all these time...i've been thinking of what happened?...whether i made you angry...or you're sick...or you got into trouble...or your phone spoil...or my message not getting thru...so many things been racing thru..and i dun know which one is true..please...let me know...dun leave be alone... :(

well enough of these...i dunno what else to say...im just hoping that everything is fine or at least..will be fine soon.

2010-12-27T22:38:00.003+08:00

well its been ages since the last post..sorriez :P

Anyway...heres the phrase of the post..."if you have nothing good to say...keep quiet :P"

yep seriously...thats the phrase...and my mum love to say that...and now that i think of it...it really is a good phrase...i acknowledge that sometimes we may wanna correct someone for the better...but the way we phrase our sentence could be rude and all...so sometimes we may end up hurting someone more than actually helping him.

alright...so now for updates...holiday life seems to be simple..nothing much been happening...went to jurong bird park...was kinda fun...especially the panorail :P...then of course had some hunting time with frens...my monster hunter just started a new character...now using bow :P...and of course i went to sakura with my family and ate till i was fat!!...damn need to control those food that enter my mouth :(

but the bulk of my holidays was spent thinking of someone ( now before you all start thinking that i got a GF...answer is no) he's just another normal fren but the troubles that seems to plague him are perhaps not so desirable...but most pissing of all are his "friends"...my goodness...i question if these frens really care for him...general story is that he loves someone that probably does not love him back and that hurts him a lot so sometimes he updates his mood on FB...but these "friends" of his only seem to care about WHO he likes rather than consoling him...perhaps i dun know the full story or something...but as it stands...that is a pathetic way to treat your friend and it disgust me that they can be so insensitive...but still...perhaps im intruding in his life...but he really should start to figure out what life really means :(

but with that aside...should not worry so much over things...let life slide...that how i like it...and i could count up at least 5 other people who would say that thats NOT the way to lead life...well then too bad...my life is not yours :P

2010-12-21T21:07:00.002+08:00

backs from camp....and i've decided to start something new...from now on...all my post will begin with a saying or phrase...with perhaps my perception on it...so i got things to say :P

So my first saying will be : Listening is love (or the other way around..same same)

learnt this back at the start of poly...first lecture for counselling i think...Jim said this and i found it really goo...why?...becuz we live in a world where solutions are the most impt...myself guilty...and we seem to forget the joy of just being listened to...sometimes we shouldn't be so eager to jump in and give advice...maybe chill and just be a listening ear...that alone can be the solution itself :D

So anyway...im back from camp...the camp was ok..but i really would rather have slept at home...it started quite badly though...the group i was in were losing almost everything...and there was just this feeling inside me that the grp was not motivated...myself also actually :P...but inside me...i...being myself...blamed myself for being a jinx...maybe im weird...but i seem to always end up on the losing team one...so i blamed myself for causing their lose...

but im really surprised...the group on the other hand were so motivated...they continued to try their best and to give it their all...even though it was quite obvious that they we're kinda de-moralized...but they PERSEVERED on...not giving up...wow... and they weren't the type that blamed each other when they lost...nope...they instead let it slide and go on with things...or even laugh about it :D...i felt like i was back in my social science class again...im glad that at least in this world...there are still some who can behave so socially.

then after lunch...we had our team games called 5 stations and things started to improve...we went around having fun and learning together...perfecting our cheer and constantly just laughing...was great...but the real deal came after dinner :D

we had this building game where we had to use scraps to make a tall and stable building...after we're done...ours was the 3rd tallest...but i was quite sure it wasn't stable...our base was kinda like a cube made out of stick...like how you would draw a cube...didn't look really stable...and the part that made our building tall was the long and slim thingy on the top :P...it was so unstable and wasn't even securely fastened...we're thought we were screwed comparing to the other groups tall and majestic building...but lo and behold...we won...as the judges came by to test our towers stability...one by one the other towers fell...except ours...we were cheering like mad monks (inside joke) cuz of our first victory :D...the other groups made a fatal mistake...their top was too thick..so when the judges blew it...the wind was caught in the surface area and it brought the tower down...but for ours...it was so thin that when the judges blew it...the wind simply went around our thin top...amazing!!...even when the judges decided to push on it...it shook..but still stood :D...from this i actually learnt something...even when something look frail and weak...it may not be the case...even if it looks weak on the exterior...the will be properties that will allow him to brave the strongest storms in life...everyone has something strong in them...even if its not on the outside :D:D:D

so after that we were quite high...then we found out that the next main programme ( which happens the next morning) is SHS Idol (SHS=school of health science)...we had to perform as a group displaying at least 2 of 3 items; dance, song, skit...since we were so high at that time...we really brainstorm and came out with the silliest ideas...which we really did use in the end :P...our story was basically santa getting lost and meeting 3 monks (our groups name was 3 monks)...they then had a culture exchange...sounds boring...too bad you did not see us in action...but that night...we ironed the story out and practiced it...we then went to bed probably feeling good about ourselves :D

night was interesting too...i joined a couple of the senior mentors and we went ghost hunting in NYP...shame...did not encounter anything absolute...but did encounter small things that could be dismissed....but it was an interesting night.

the next morning...was breakfast and some really intense morning activities...then it was SHS Idol...among the 5 group...ours was chosen to go last and they made the right choice...they saved the best for last :D we were kinda nervous when it was our turn but when we were at the front...all fear was gone and we gave the best performance we could!!...to awesome results...gonna be hard for me to describe our performance in words but i'll try...there may be a video of it if i can get my hands on it :P

basically it starts of with a nerdy narrator who was prepared to bore the audience, but suddenly changed to become more energetic...not my idea...but i was the narrator and i was "persuaded" to do that :(...but still...i did what i could :P...then it starts of with me narrating about how santa was on his way to deliver presents when his GPS failed...he then went on foot and got lost...he met 3 monks who was apparently meditating and not bothering when he called them...so he got bored and started singing "jingle bells"...and while he sank...the monks slowly started to bob their head to the tune and when he ended...the monk suddenly got up and told him that he is in their territory and should sing their version...this part i really cant describe but this was the best and funniest part...the audience we're laughing like mad and everyone was having fun...then after that the monks gave santa an Iphone 4 with GPS and the story end...sigh...in words like not so funny lei...those who got my facebook you all keep a lookout..if i get the video i'll upload it... :D

but thats not all...WE WON THE SHS IDOL!!!...our hard work paid off...we won becuz of our originality and creativity in our act...and damn was i happy...felt so different when i was in a team that actually won something :D...we didn't win the overall best...but personally...i think SHS idol was the best time for me...and i believe for the rest of them too :D

i realized that our group started off on bad foundations and roads...but it was becuz we never gave up and continued too support each other...we made it and ended the camp with a bang!! it really was a great experience =)

but still...sleeping at home seems more appealing lei..but i guess i would not have had this really long post to write of if i did not go...the camp did me good so i dun regret going :D

well thats all for the past days...tmr going the jurong bird park with my family...go see big and small birds(trying to be stupid here :P) so i guess tmr may be an eventful day...maybe i'll throw my brother into some bird cage or something :P

2010-12-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

Tis the season to be jolly...

What a great end of the first half of semester 2 :P...well...even if thats only 2 weeks of holidays....its still a welcoming reprieve...both for us and perhaps our lecturers :D but for me...i still have an accursed camp to go to...damn :(

well anyway...last day of school...everyone seems so jovial and happy :P there were laughs and joy...even if it was during lectures itself :D...then of course...being the social work class we are...we gave a Christmas surprise to an unexpected person...a cleaner who always helps to keep our class clean...she really is an awesome person...coming in the our class...cleaning and sweeping...but always happy and with a smile...so of course...we gave her a surprised complete with gifts and pictures :D...makes we feel so warm and fuzzy inside...now i wonder how i can still be a Grinch :P

Then of course i was hunting with my kor kor...and boy is he getting good at it :P...spent sometime hunting before meeting my other 2 trustees CJ and peggy (my kor kor ted being the 3rd one of course...not ranked) and together we had dinner to celebrate the start of holidays...

damn im mortally afraid of sashimi now...i spammed too much :P...stomach nearly blew...but sakura was such an awesome place...and they have this little sign saying not to waste food...and people will be charged $5 per 100 gram of wasted food...so we realized we had left over so what did we do?...we stuffed food under as much remaining shells and other debris we could to hide the food...peggy was the best...first she managed to stuff so much meat under one of the oyster shells...then she was cutting up pieces of meat while caroling " falis navidad" so innocently...couldn't stop laughing :P...then we got ambitious and devised so many fantastic ways to hide the food...and we got away with it :P...can only wonder how the people will react when they flip over the shell only to find chicken meat in it :D

then after that we walked a short ways to the mrt and Ted entertained us with his impression of a drunk person...boy that really sealed the day of fun for me...Thanks a lot for all the fun things...and i now know that even if i were to feel that no one gives a damn about me...i know that at least the 3 of you cares...and thats enough for me :D

so of course now im at home...tmr gonna have things to do but oh well...for now..im feeling fat and tired :P...but not planning to sleep anytime soon :D

2010-12-16T00:47:00.002+08:00

Tired

its 12.47...and imma tired...kinda long day for me...got school...then must wait for 5 HOURS before going for some weird briefing for a camp that is on the first 2 days of HOLIDAYS!!...haiz...thats 2 days wasted...and of course the abundance of things i need to do during the festive seasons...sigh..i really feel like a Grinch this Christmas :P

but then again...cant wait for class outing and those joyous stuff...but those comes after the accursed camp..dammit...

well..nothing much happened today i guess...besides playing truth or dare with frens...OH OH!!...and people these days cannot keep their attention on one things for long...damn irritating sia!!

2010-12-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

Commitment...

Sigh...loads of commitment...but mostly to myself...own decisions to study and get reasonable results...make the best out of my life...and a bundle of other things...commitment seems to guide us in life...and maybe it does.

so one more commitment im adding to the list is to update my blog more...after all...CJ did a great job with the skin and i dun wan it to go to waste...and its also good to fill this up so that im not wasting my server space on blogger :P...but also that sometimes...things happen to me that i dun wanna verbally say out...so this shall be the channel :D

so update...playing MHP3rd now and really enjoying...got loads of people to share the joy with and thats all great...only prob is that i fear that i might get addicted to it and not study...hoping not...thats why after the 2 weeks break i'll start studying liao...hope can make it...but still worried

have you all notice that educators are weird...as you advance in school...the things you learn generally get harder and you have to put in more effort to keep up..meaning that your chance of doing not as good as the previous year is higher...i think all educators know that...but when you do not perform as well as last term...they blame you for not putting enough effort or being complacent...its NEVER abt the lessons becoming more complicated...i wouldn't mind if they say i did not put in enough effort...but it pisses me off when they say its complacent...they are making an accusation without proof...as most people do... :(

but oh well...its a new education for me and its time to see if anything has changed...in primary school...i was accused for not putting in enough effort and grades going down...oh and also being complacent...but back then i did not know what it meant :P then in secondary school i changed tack...i did terrible at first and then slowly got better...this time...the reaction was awesome...BUT when i did badly suddenly...again it was the accusations...but then again...this time i was really lazy to study maths :P...so now..in poly...did well for first sem...but the new modules look so awesome-ly difficult...im sure i wont do as well...lets see how my educators will react...

well i guess thats all...now hoping that tomorrow i will be disciplined enough to post again...hope so :P

2010-12-02T23:18:00.002+08:00

YAY!!...imma happie kitty again!!...woots

Anyway...all a misunderstanding..all of us are humans after all...no point making a fuss...anyway..imma back to the same old mwe again...and gonna play MH with my bro later :P...and playing gunz with my frens :D...so everything fine again...thanks to my greatest kor kor bear :D:D:D

2010-12-02T21:09:00.002+08:00

A long wait later :P

Been so long...and i realized this blog will only be filled if there is something biggie in my life...oh well

Anyway...Monster hunter portable 3rd is out but i still cant play it...damn Sony and their security :(...but still not gonna give up...and schools been ok i guess...things are still interesting but can feel anxiety of exams...Yin luns back frm australia...edwin and alex O lvl are over...so i guess they're having fun :(

Anyway...had an awesome day today playing captains ball and passing balls around with my classmates...been a long time since i last exercised...and also wore the same shirt as my kor kor....earning ourselves some teases...but i guess im used to it already :(...but kor kor wasn't happy...sigh :(

well...my mood totally got ruined with facebook and the insensitive people it houses...totally got me pissed off...the the best part is that he/she doesn't even know he/she made me pissed...and still go on to rub it in....please...go %&*$ yourself :(

but anyway...got into a cold bath to cool myself down and now im back here...the post on FB still pissed me off...maybe thats why im here...

I think its so unfair that girls can be so close to each other and no one else gives a damn...but when you are close with a guy and treat him as a brother then people say you're gay...whats the different between girls and guys...either way...you have someone you trust a lot in your life and these people seem to go all out to ruin it...

So here i state a very firm stance...if you dare to do anything to ruin my friendship and brother-ship...you gonna get it from me...and im holding back my language...but suffice it is to say...i will have nothing to do with anyone who tries to ruin my friendship...

2010-11-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

Pulled thru...again

Once again...my great brother pulled me thru again...and those who expressed concern...call me self indulging...but those comments really means a lot to me...its good to know that people care :D

Anyway...storms over...time to get on with life...i cant just give up on my passion like this...it would be a waste...theres much more worry going on in the world...much more than these small things i go thru

Of course all of you heard of the latest news of the slashing case where 20 innocent bystanders were slashed...theres something worrisome going on...first Darren...now this...singapore is gonna have a lot of problems on their hand...so its best if we don't go out too late at night...dun attracted attention to ourselves...steer clear of any suspicious activities...

Well...guess more is soon to come...all we can do is hope that this storm will clear quickly...

2010-11-09T17:46:00.002+08:00

Im almost giving up....

I cant keep it up anymore...i just cant...everytime i want to say something with good intention...i end up screwing it up...i dun even trust myself to speak anymore...perhaps its becuz im not putting my message thru the right way...but i really dun mean any harm...i really was worried and wanted to help...in case its too late...but my message never got thru...i fail in communication skills...who am i to think that i can help others..especially when i cant even help myself...

Silence is my worst enemy...one of my classmate said before..."just dun talk to him for 1 week and he will come crawling back to you"...i admit...its true...so very true...now all of you know my weakness...happy using it against me...but i really cant take it...i cant take silence...ignoring me is the worst things anyone can do to me...it pains me to no end...but things were never about me...no...i try my best to help others...but unsure if i ever succeed...i always put up a strong front...so that others would not have to worry about me...for me..its all about others...but sometimes not getting a respond is even more hurtful...but if i think like this...then im not really helping becuz i want to...

I no longer trust myself anymore...for those whom i am someway or another helping...im sorry...i dun think i can continue...im gonna still go on studying...perhaps theres still hope for me...but as of now...im not gonna take any chances of ruining a persons life...i guess its safest to simply not talk unless needed...

But im not gonna give up...not for the long term...i dunno how long i can last...but i know there are people who still loves(not BF GF kind) me...and even though its those whom i am closest to that i hurt the most...im still gonna try...untill i run out of energy...im not gonna stop trying.

2010-10-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

WOW!!..its been ages since my last post

Well then..more updates...back to school...finally...but new modules are really heavy and complicated...better gear up...still trying to be more positive thinking..but usually end up being negative again...its in my genes i tell you!!...

more or less things are the same...got more questions bombing in my head..but will answer them one by one...till then... :P

2010-09-19T22:52:00.002+08:00

Reminiscing...

Was flipping thru old pics and was just thinking of what great and awesome frens i have...they have played huge parts in my life...found out how important frens are to me and im grateful for them in my life :D

anyways...i have been practicing dream recalling for the sake of one step further...which is to go astral travelling...seems so interesting to try anyway...maybe one day i'll visit others in their dream :D

2010-09-15T20:46:00.002+08:00

WHOO!!...wad a meaningful day

decided to volunteer at a childcare at eunos primary school...was actually seriously nervous..."wad if the kids dun like me?" or "wad if they dun wanna talk"...but after reaching there...realised that they were such a friendly bunch...they were eager to talk and play..immediately felt attached to the place already...playing with them was a joy

To the the kids enjoy and have fun...it was such a good feeling to see them happy...feeling this reassured me that im doing the right thing and this is what i would wanna do in future...bring happiness to others...after all...they're kids...they're supposed to have fun :D

well...will probably be going back soon...but i still wanna enjoy my holidays...thats important too :D

2010-09-11T23:26:00.002+08:00

AWW man im confused :(

Most of you all would know that im a christian already but for some reason i dun feel like i am...i mean...i really do wanna believe in God but when i pray and things like that...i dun feel the conviction...even though i've seen so many examples of his existence in many things...but i just cant bring myself to believe in him as much as others do...and after much reading up..i found out why

Its the Bible...i have no problems believing that the Great One sits upon his Holy throne up in heaven...but i have problems with the Bible...the things in the Bible are so...so...i dunno...theres many things in the Bible that i do not agree with...and i dun believe whole-sale...its like...parts of the bible i can believe...cuz its been proven...some parts i can believe becuz of faith...but some i just simply cant...just the very thought of what the bible is saying seems so...with lack of better word..evil :(

An example?...Zechariah 14 1-2...god says..." the city will be captured...the houses ransacked..and the women raped...yes..God said this...he allowed the women to be raped...perhaps i dun understand the full bible...but this was in the new testament...and it just seems so evil a God portrayed :(

Another is Luke 12 47-48...this section in my bible is in red...which means its the word of christ...it says " That servants who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows...This part perhaps shows that you have to follow authorities...which would be ok...but my concern is that they allowed slavery...the Bible is Gods word and this is the words of Christ...its as if they endorses slavery...shouldn't slavery be stopped?...why is it still there and "rules" are even made for slaves to follow...maybe guidelines is a better word...guidelines are made for Masters as to whether he should punish his slave and on what conditions...

its such things in the bible that worries me...and just a note...this 2 examples are frm the new testament...many argue that the old testament portrays the wrath of god...while the new one shows a more loving one...?????

there are many more examples...but you get my idea...i really still want to believe in him...but im not gonna say that i believe the Bible 100%...cuz there are somethings in it i dun wanna believe :(

2010-08-25T19:18:00.002+08:00

Haiz...I let jealousy get the better of me

Not in the really bad way though... but why is it that im so affected when someone does something that i cant... :(

Why is it that some people can eat super nice things almost every dinner...or go for courses or lessons to improve themselves or their talent...or get what they want without worrying too much about price...some peepz meals can go up to over 20 bucks while mine usually only abt $5...and their fathers can be so nice while mine is the MAIN reason why im feeling like that...i guess im supposed to appreciate him but sometimes its just so hard to do that...

im pretty sure today he'll irritate me again...he does that so much it seems natural already...and i can already tell he's about to open his beak to sprout worthless comments that does not contribute to any improvement...it pleases him to just say things that dun contribute anything and then just say it to irritate people...and only he can be angry..when he angry everyone must give in to him...but when others angry he gets angry becuz we angry...the way he eats reminds me of.......arrgh forget it..i can go on forever making this post endless -.-

what an eventful few days

2010-08-22T22:18:00.003+08:00

Well...havent blogged for ages...so i believe you people will be surprise to hear this

IM A CHRISTIAN NOW!!...seriously!!

im not sure how to explain really...but then i've followed my instinct in my life and it always worked out for me...so instincts told me to go for it...but then again..is it instinct...or is it something else?

anyway...had a sleep over at my kor's house cuz his parents were having a church cell outing to a goat farm, mushroom farm and orchid farm...so i went over on friday and stayed overnight...the thingy was on saturday...and then stayed overnight again till sunday(today)

its was also thru these 3 days did i feel the change :D...i must really thank theodore (kor) and his family for sharing the word of god with me...at first i was still the usual...not believing and all...but then on saturday when i attended service...somethings the pastor was sharing surprised me so much...and then something seemed to click into place...and i realised that he may be true...my testimony is kinda personal and still not really comfortable with sharing with random public now...paiseh :P

but suffice it is to say...im feeling much more than i ever felt...seriously...tts why i said i dunno how to explain...but im happy with my decision...and i must really thank all the people in my life...especially those who have tried to open my eyes...theodore...peggy...jerry...nicholas...alvin...mr wee...edwin...and im sure many more others...thanks so much...

well..im sure my life will probably be much more interesting now..its kinda like a new journey for me...and im blessed to have great frens and God walking along with me :D

2010-08-11T20:25:00.004+08:00

WHOO!!...tired day...

But it was FUN!!...woke up late and rushed to school to do spring cleaning on our class...and it was so fun...its funny to see Jim going nuts over cleanliness ...and to see him and jocelyn bicker around :P...then seeing teddy's blur face while vacuuming and talking abt sexual appetite:P..i cant believe jocelyn said that :P...but still...it was fun to spring clean together :D...so many laughs and joy :D

Then later had lunch at Manhattan fish market...guess thats the part where my spirits lowered...as usual...experiencing weirdness in my brain again...but MOOOVING ON!!

We watched Inception and it was such an awesome show...really made you feel smarter :P...its really a great show and worth the time...

Well...tts all really...may not seem much but such things are really meaningful...we only have ONE life...we need to treasure it to the fullest....and make the most out of it!

2010-08-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

YOG FLAME!

WAH...today got to see the YOG flame live!...kinda cool for an experience...but the wait was boring as hell...we waited almost forever just for the flame to come...and then after the flame pass we went back to goofing ard as usual..

now im super tired and need rest man...too muchh screaming and yelling

2010-08-05T19:44:00.002+08:00

The term is coming to an end!

ok who am i kidding?...not yet...but soon

WELL!!!!...the test was hard...HARD!!...jeez...but still..its over...no worries for the test...

But after these few months...theres so much to talk abt that i havent talked abt...

Jim and Jocelyn is right...not all of us practise what we have learnt...we spent hours learning about communications and so many other valuable skills and all we use them for are in our test and exam...we need to apply them more to our life...

After today...i realised how much has happened in the class...i always thought that the class bonded quite well and i still think so...but that is becuz of my past in secondary school...this class showed a bond that i never experienced before...i never felt the same bond in sec sch...so maybe to you all its normal..but to me its not...it GREAT!...but i guess after hearing wad some of my fren said...i kinda agreed...we said we bond but did we really bond AS A CLASS?...maybe not...

It wasnt fun to see the atmosphere in class these few days...things no longer seemed like the fun and happy living in the first few weeks...maybe its natural...we all have our differences..and there will definitely come a point where we will have conflict...but come on peepz...we just had a test on conflict management!

But still...its gonna be hard...we have 2 and a something more years to go...i believe we can be one united class...but its gotta start somewhere!

Reading all those comments on facebook really put me through cognitive dissonance :P...i always thought we were a united class...but after reading what some of you said...i think otherwise...we really need to practise empathy like we learnt...we're gonna do this for the rest of our life...why not start now?

Im gonna do my best to help.....

But another thing that makes my blood boil...LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT AND CLEAR...THERE IS NTHING WRONG WITH BEING CHILD LIKE OR CHILDISH!! to all you nut cases that likes to live life in a square box...think abt this...what if someone tells you that you too serious...dunno how to have fun...wad will you think? Yes...at our age we are supposed to be serious and i agree...but why take the fun outta life...not saying that serious peeps cant have fun...but ever heard of the term "child at heart"?...some of us...myself included...like to have fun in life...and some of it includes behaving more child like...never forget that children can be very innocent and fun loving ok?...I found out that i really really HATE serious people...as in those that are forever serious and dun have fun...so those of you who thinks you're serious but can have fun...reeeelax...you're normal...this message goes out to those who are serious and cant have fun....LOOOSEN UPP!!!!...Jeez....I spent most of my time bumbling around...but when work comes i can get serious...but not too serious...theres a fun side in work too you know...i hate it when people say...its work time...get serious...thats bullshit!...we can have fun while working too!

ok..that felt good :P...oh well..finally a decent post after all these boring ones...:D

2010-08-04T21:51:00.001+08:00

GOSH!

studying Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness (DIE!!) now...and its a horror!!

So many little terms to understand...one lecture can have abt 5-10 different terms or points to take note of...jeez...

cant wait for the test tmr to be over...then its YOG time!!!!...YES!!...maybe i'll study a little...but its a break..cant wait for tmr to be over!

2010-08-03T23:19:00.002+08:00

RAWR!!...studying studying :(

Why?...well..cuz everyone else is studying as well -.-...rats..

and speaking of rats...mousehunt on FB actually quite cute lei :P

anyway...just found out my results of 2 of my ICA presentation for social work...one A and one B...satisfied :D

and also...im writing a new book...its abt ants!...but as usual...too lazy to continue writing...but must write lei..like very interesting to write a book ! :D

anyways...everything else is the same lo...nthing new :(

terms coming to an end liao...with study break ( translates to holidays) coming up due to YOG...can sleep at home :D tmr oso no need go school...but must study..sian :(

2010-08-02T21:51:00.002+08:00

Whoa...had a great week...rather ok..been doing loads of stuff :D

But what striked me most was a BBQ i went today...it started at 7...it was hosted by evangel church and open to public....there i saw there i saw something that i found so....*loss for words*

There was such a long queue...why?..FREE FOOD!...yes...half of the peepz just came for the food...no courtesy to even stay to chat...and worse was some shamefully just took the food ON PLATES and went home...saw one lady carrying 3 plates of piled high food going up the life while some others were seen eating rather far away from the area the BBQ was held...it toook only abt 30-45 min for all the food to disappear...and there were still queues!...god -.-

i went to yishun park with my frens and by the time i came back..no more food...poor me had to go home to find food for dinner :P...cuz i wont act like a starving dog going through scraps of food....and im proud to say that i did not act like a starving dog rushing for free food -.-

i mean...maybe some low income family do need to take the chance to grab while they can...but please do so with dignity...and at least stay to chat or something...dun just come down frm your house...queue...get the food...AND GO HOME!!!...gosh...but the pleasing thing too see is that the long queue comprised of mostly adults...probably parents in their 30s to 40s...maybe 50s...nice to know that these embarrassing habits are kept only mostly to the earlier generations...at least we teens are not affected :P...well most of us...

oh well...one more exam this week...dynamics of interpersonal effectiveness....hope it goes well :P

2010-07-29T21:19:00.002+08:00

Phew...feeling damn tired now..got loads to do...first gotta prepare for tmr's role play....next comes the compilation of transcripts and printing...then must edit the role play videos...and finally do the proj for web design...walau eh :(

But still...COUNSELLING IS OVER!!!....and i think i did ok...friends told me i spoke slower and i think i got all the points :D...so that can throw behind me liao!

Well..nthing else happened much after that...same old...same old :P

But now im pulling my hair out becuz of the video editting...making me cry...all the video editting programs are horrendous :(...rawr!

Well...tmr's the last day of the week...finally...cant wait for the weekends :D

2010-07-28T19:25:00.003+08:00

PHEW....wad a tiring day

Well...at least something to blog abbt today :D

sociology exam went well though...should have avoided a fail...maybe a B...but who cares...its over!! :D...but after that i was slightly pissed off by some arrogant person that i cant stand and is pushing my buttons to no end...im exercising alot of patience that im not known for :(...but still...not gonna let it get me down...but in case that particular person might be reading...dun harm those close to me or i'll personally make you pay.

but on the brighter side...had a huge amt of fun today...after the exam...CJ showed us a "ghost" video that made us laugh like anything!!...Then we were practicing for the performance and we were so happy together :D...i love the class :D...then we were dressing up our 2 models for the recycled costume competition...they look great lor...super impressed with wad the girls (and i think some guys) came up with all the recycled materials...then had to leave earlier cuz there was some pledge taking thingy that i was unhappily involved in :P...so had funny arguements with the other unfortunate souls whether we should escape or not :P...

then the celebration started and it was loads of fun...there were loads of screaming frm the girls and the sound was tremendous...im poor eardrums :(...even QC said that our class probably made the number 1 public enemy..haha...then the whole class went on stage to sing "im yours"...such a great experience for memory and bonding...especially since alot of us were stressed..this was perfect to release the stress :D...but the best part was that we won for the recycling competition...haha...after going back to our class we opened and found so many packets of drinks...coffee...tea...haha...hearing jocelyn and jim complain was funny :x

well...finally got the chance to have such a good time..tmr is counselling ICA...better start talking ssssllllloooooowwwwwllllyyyyy!!!

2010-07-27T17:30:00.002+08:00

Tmr is the sociology exam!!!

At first wasn't that stress one...but then after going to school and seeing all the others studying and slogging like ***s...i now feel the stress...but not frm the exam itself..but more from the "peer pressure" :(...i know...it sounds weird..but i dunno...everytime i see one of them studying...i feel so pressured to do the same...but then i question why i study

Its like...are we really studying for ourselves?...many will immediately say yes becuz they want the results...but thinking again...do we really REALLY remember wad we study in years to come...do we rmb the math formula's we learnt in school?...i doubt so...at least not all...so does it all not boil down to one simple fact...we are studying simply for the results...you would say that i learn something frm it..but no..learning only occurs if there is a permanant change in your lifestyle!...if we forget something we learnt..then its not learning...so we study for the results whether we like it or not...we're engineered into robots that automatically start studying when the exams are near...gain the ability to vomit out all the facts when any other random days we cant even answer in a coherent manner...so wad are we?...we're robot studying for the sake of anything else BUT ourselves :(....sucks to be like this...i wont say im not like this..but im gonna be different!

For this sociology exam..im going to simply skim and scan thru and rely on all the lectures we had previously studies...using the information that i've learnt frm those lectures to take into the exam hall..im not gonna slog like ***s or study like robots...im not gonna draw out elaborate mindmaps or notes...im gonna go into the exam hall and use what have already been implemented in my life to answer the question...cuz things that are implemented in my life are the things that i've LEARNT!...not things that i force myself to remember for an occasion and then forget abt it!

of course...i dun expect an A out of this...or maybe even a pass...i may even fail the exam...if that is the case then i'll whole-heartedly accept the consequences....but at least i'll feel better knowing that i have not become "the beast that society engineered us to be".

2010-07-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

GREAT!!!...even as i blog now im having the sociology notes on my lap..IMMA STUDYING!!!

ascribed status...achieved status...mechinacal solidarity...sanctions...and much much more which i already mixed up :(

jeez..and i realised i like to use the word jeez!....jeez :P

anyways...currently watching kumar videos to entertain me..and playing horror games...dunno why i suddenly got a thing for horror games now...well..tmr will be a simple day i guess...but wednesday comes the nightmare...got sociology exam and DIE presentation...I cant act to save my life and the presentation must have role-play :(...hoping the test will go fine...then on thursday got counselling ICA...and im still talking too fast lei :(...like that jocelyn later oso frustrated :x

oh well..guess i just have to hope that all goes well :P...

2010-07-25T23:42:00.001+08:00

OH GOSH!!

Exams drawing nearner...next weeks gonna be a nightmare...counselling ICA..presention for DIE and sociology exam..gosh...what a filled week

well..so far..only studies for sociology...skim and scan...thats all T.T

but life's still great...got great people ard me and having fun!

frm the post..you can see that life for me still abit boring :x

2010-07-20T20:41:00.003+08:00

Hey hey

haiyo..exam period is here already...now gotta study for sociology...tsk

but still...things are going ok i guess...class still have fun but can kinda see some stress setting in already...and as usual..like in sec sch...not feeling the anxiety..and not sure if i will ever feel it...but different frm sec school..i will actually study this time...as in really study...maybe can get GPA 4.0 :P..nah..jk...a 3.0 kinda enough liao

haiyo...at least the poly exam format is different...not sure if its gonna be difficult or not..but well...we'll see

today was kinda nice...got the cert for the sponsorship thingy...and as usual..lots of laughter with frens...

guess thats it so far...my life seems to be losing the colorful elements already :P...haha

2010-07-17T21:44:00.002+08:00

Been awhile again since i last posted...cuz there wasnt much that happen

Just went to a bully free forum and it was quite good...a bit lengthy but quite informative...had an argument with my mum just now :(...and from that i realized something...even though i was taught to apologies if i am at fault...it does not mean the other party is matured enough to accept...i sincerely apologized to her but all i got was more complains frm her and ended up not improving at all...lamo -.-

oh well..not gonna bother too much anyway...as long as i know what i have done is right then thats all i care...but on the brighter side...met ms jie wen and eric and other counsellors frm childrens society...was nice to catch up with all of them...

well...thats about all i guess...boring right? :P

2010-07-12T08:55:00.006+08:00

WOOHOO!!!!...im still alive and now super happy!!!

Just came out of the lecture hall...the test was kinda hard lei...but still got "A"...yay!!

Guess the coffee helped..im still feeling alert now...so cooooooll!!!

but the anticipation so high sia...waiting and thinking if i should click the button..then when finally click and see the A sitting there...super happy lor...best part is that those frens ard me all got As and Bs so all are happy :D

2010-07-12T08:55:00.003+08:00

YAY!!!...im in school now and i made it without falling asleep.

the super concentrated coffee made me super hyper now..hee hee...most likely will survive through the whole day...yay!...now to worry for the test...but still...had fun :D

Update 3

2010-07-12T05:39:00.002+08:00

WHEEE!!...im still functioning!!

match is over and congrats to spain and paul(octopus)

and i just ingested a cup of oil (coffee) and my energon level is at least at minimal functional level...

not sure how long i can last but hope this will keep me for the next day...now playing monopoly deal and planning to go see sunrise later at the reservoir!!

ok..this post even shorter...i need to ration my energon supplies

Update 2

2010-07-12T04:27:00.002+08:00

WEEE!!!...its 4.27 and my systems are deteoriating already

The match boring lei....exciting part only got the trips and falls as usual :P...somemore now my optics (eyes) are losing juice...im seeing a bit blur now...but not gonna sleep...:D

gonna be a bad boy and try to stay awake :P...and also still got test...well..at least got study a wee bit :P...hope it helps :D

ok...gonna be a short post..need to conserve my energon :P

oh and i'll be speaking in robot more now :P..so heres translations :P

Optics=eyes
audio receptors=ears/hearing
energon/juice=energy
servos=arms

so far only got those..lemme go find more robot words first :P

Update 1

2010-07-12T03:09:00.002+08:00

First Update for my "stay up monday"

Just ate macs and feeling fat again....watched "year one" just now and it was an average show...now watching soccer and im surprised im kinda glues to the screen...but not for the sports...rather the accidents and funny stuffs :P...feeling kinda sleepy a little bit but i think my systems will hold...will use my back up batteries...not planning to recharge anyway :P...

well...time to get back to the game...may update again soon :P

haha....must "au ye"

2010-07-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

wee...currently at my frens house..planning to stay up the whole night liao...just went for a swim and now uber tired...was splashing around the pool untill damn out of breath...haha...then kenna wedgie untill swimming trunks got hole...:$
then later planning to watch movie and play games...must survive the whole nite lei...who free come talk talk with me on any channel as long as im on...msn...facebook...if both not on then sms meeeee :D
ANYWAYS...tmr got test still haven study much...then got ethics...scared sleep in jocelyn's class :P...hope not la...maybe might blog later again for an update...
haha..and i still cant get over the new blogskin..super organized...thx CJ :D:D:D:D

New thingys!!

2010-07-10T21:13:00.002+08:00

WOOHOO!!!...notice the cool new skin...!!

My awesome fren CJ designed it for me and its much appreciated...thanks a lot for the effort :D..looks great! :D

haha...and today i made a weird accept...my fren invited me to his house for a stay over for the finals for soccer...and i accpeted?!?!?!...dunno why oso...but im definitely not gonna sit there and watch soccer..probably i'll be rolling around the floor or something...but still...kinda a good experience...and they not planning to sleep so if on monday you peepz see me sleeping in class..spare me :D...worse is monday got web design exam lei...jialat...but for the heck of it i think i'll take the risk :P

WEE...probably gonna wake up late tmr to super-charge my batteries for the next night...and thanks again CJ!!!

another meaningful day

2010-07-07T17:36:00.002+08:00

Today was such a meaningful day...we went to cheshire home for a visit and it was a great experience
Met this kindly lady who is a resident there and she shared with us alot of things...she is also a winner of a competition and it was really impressive...even though she is physically disabled..she shows so much enthusiasm and happiness that we hardly show...it was great to see her smile when we were talking to her...she even knows how to play monopoly and really likes the game..haha...she asked us to play but due to time constraints..we had to decline :(
This trip really was meaningful and seeing them made me feel like helping and just seeing a smile on their faces...there i know that im in the right course...this profession is definitely the right one for me..to just see them smile.:D
well since i havent updated for quite awhile..heres a run down..past few days have been great...got through 4 presentation in 2 weeks...thank earth :P...smoked through quite a few of them though...test are coming up in week 16 and im kinda still lazing around...thats one thing that haven't changed since secondary school i think :x...been playing games...goofing around with frens and generally just haveing a great time...theres even more...but dun tell you all :P
okie..time to go tackle the chore of making dinner :(..boring la...but the fire is still on and im still here...so buai buai...*rushes off*

2010-06-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

YAY!!...im glad to say im back to my old self again :D..after all these event of the past weeks
these events have really changed me...all the lessons learnt from all these events make me feel re-newed :D
and it also widen my eyes to my closest frens around me...all those who helped me when there was a need..i thank all of them for their presence
well...guess i should mention 3 peepz around me that i truly appreciate..and thats theodore, CJ and peggy...these 3 have always been with me for all the 11 weeks ( since we first met) and there is no better frens then them...we were there for me when i was seriously ill...buying porridge for me to ensure i eat...they've also sms me with concern when they find that im troubled with something...you know..all those sms really means a lot to me as those are the affirmation for me that you care for me...and i will do the same like-wise...
then there are also the rest frm my poly class..who have been, still are and probably will always be the best bunch of people i have ever met...Quek chin...who also chowed great concerned for me when i was sick..as well as also being the resident gamer :x...jasmine...always providing the fun and laughter...VJ...one of my role models..she's such a mature person and always being helpful for the betterment of the class...jerry...who takes in all our teasing and also a very mature person...just to name a few :D..of course..the rest of the class all had their greatness..i think i might do some sort of dedication for all of them soon :P
Then there are my lecturers who showed undying support to the class...Jim for showing so much concern when i was sick..and Jocelyn for being the first educator in my life that told me NOT to go school ( i was sick ma )...haha :D...I rmb Jim saying that the people that impacted him most was his mentors and i agree to that...only 11 weeks and both Jim and Jocelyn have impacted my life so much with what they taught in class...
Im so happy to be where i am now..i feel fortunate that i have such great people around me...i'll do my best to help them as well as assist them in whatever ways i can...and to be a great classmate to you all as much as you all have been the greatest class mates to me :D

2010-06-29T17:42:00.002+08:00

WHEE!!!...thats 2 more ICA presentation down...4 more to go :D...
the presentation went smoothly today..except for the part where we ran out of time and i had to talk so fast i actually panted after it...haha..my poor classmates had to chase after my bullet train of a presentation :x
other than that...nthing else happened..besides me getting frustrated again over the incident yesterday..i need to contrl myself :(...and of course probably hurting those around me in the process....currently im glancing at my phone almost every minute and jumping when it lights up...waiting for some sort of response frm a very special person...who isn't responding :(...and no its not a girlfren -.-...
oh well...guess i should go cok now..before my dad comes home to complain that theres no food on the table

2010-06-28T20:48:00.002+08:00

GRREEEEEAAAATTTT!!!!...i fucked up again :(
guess it was kinda my fault to post it on FB...now that lost me a fren...what a loser i am...great :(
she did have her reasons for doing such things...maybe i should have kept the disagreement to myself...but i guess i dun even knwo what im doing this days...im a failure...:(
im probably gonna retreat into myself these few days....maybe i need time to reflect on what i have done...this is my fault for interfereing with the matter...and i deserve the hate...and most of all..i've caused trouble again to the one im closest to :(...
Well..im going for a temporary "vacation" inside myself...maybe i might come back better...or feeling worse...who knows.............

2010-06-28T19:13:00.002+08:00

YAY!!!...first day back in school...and fun it was :P
dun know why im talking like that :P...random...anyway...finally get to see my frens again..who turned our tutorial into a funny tutorial as usual...but the exercise was kinda sad...there were 26 people who were terminally ill and only 13 miracle drugs to cure them...so half of them had to die...so we had to decide who lives and dies...my client was a dementia patient, female, 86 and retired...in the end most of the others thought she should die cuz she could not contribute to society and she's old liao...quite sad la..and makes me wonder if in future im old will others throw me away as well :P...haha..but im thinking too much..its was a meaningful exercise :D...
other than that...i found out that one of my frens was kinda sad/angry/disappointed cuz he/she has been helping others but he/she is concerned that others will get complacent or take advantage...im disappoint to hear that cuz we should help becuz we want too...and not everyone has learnt the art of gratitude...but we should not ask for credit or recognition for what we have done...if not..then our rendered services has an hidden agenda instead of being pure...i felt that it was the wrong way to see things :(
Oh well...im not gonna worry too much...i'll still try my best to help others un-conditionally :D

2010-06-26T16:37:00.002+08:00

ANGER!!!!...GRAWR>>>if you're not interested to read on then please dun..its kinda petty...but i dun even know why im angry...
SOOO...i thought today i will FINALLY be able to spend sometime with my secondary school frens...i thought today i can FINALLY catch up with them and spend the whole day with them...but then what happened?..some kid comes by and ruins the whole thing up...
When i met up with my frens the host said that there were some unexpected visitors; one of his other fren will be joining us...at first was kinda ok for me...i've met this other guy before and he seems like an ok person...but then when he came he mentioned abt his sister going for a competition or somethings like that which meant that the host...being the good and kind person he is...would wanna go to give moral support...which meant that our time together would be cut short for some last minute person...i made arrangements so that i will be free today and not interrupted...made sure no one else will ask me go out somewhere...and even skipped my grandpa visit for this...and then its ruin by some person who never made a single plan...then used his arsenal of games to further make our time together lesser by attracting my frens to go play his games -.-...and guess what..IT WORKED!!!...my dearest frens who goes crazy over games couldn't even hunt properly while their eyes were roaming all over the other games...
but what pissed me off is the fact that this fren is so insensitive to the people around him...all of us tried our best to arrange the day nicely and was looking forward to it..then he comes by with his own plan and doesn't even have the courtesy to give us an option...the host did not know abt the sister's competition until they came by..and once he knew..he immediately said he wanted to support her..im fine with that cuz thats being nice...even if it meant forgetting about others...but that fren just simply sat there happily...if i were him..the least i would do was to dissuade the host not to go..cuz he have other fren to attend to..but NOOOO...why would he do that?...GRAWR!
oh and i've never mentioned names cuz im SENSITIVE to your feelings!...do try and learn that skill..its pretty useful _!_

grrr...well...guess i wont worry abt this shit too long...not worth my time :(

ps...you know the worst thing...his name is actually the same as my bestest fren in the world!!!...what an insult :(

2010-06-26T06:01:00.001+08:00

WAH!!...early post today!!
holidays are coming to an end :(...done nothing much that can be discussed here...went out a few times...did project a few times...kinda boring..cant wait to go back to school where all the laughters are :P...and now...finally can go swimming with old frens liao...cant wait...:D

2010-06-23T22:00:00.001+08:00

WOW...these past few days have been the best days eva!!...not sure is it becuz its holidays or its just the times i had...theres so many things that cant be said here..but they sure made me happy just to even think abt them...gosh...but holidays are coming to an end soon...lucky im done with the work..now to tackle the 5 presentation...great..but still..gonna be a happy cat all the way :D

2010-06-17T23:50:00.002+08:00

YAY!!...had such a fun day today with my frens :D
woke up early today to head to pasir ris to meet frens...then went to pasir ris to CYCLE!!!...but we ate at ananas cafe first...and sinthu started off the day in laughter...there was a chili bottle ( those soft kind ) that was kinda stuck...we couldn't squeeze it out..then sinthu tried and pressed it super hard till it burst out...then after that all of us super scared of that bottle..once someone come pick up the bottle..all of us fled :P
then after that we went to cycle at pasir ris park...took the single bike first and had an earth of a fun...then later tried those double bike...at first super scared but then later found out that it was super fun :D...then later we went to the arcade and i completely sucked at jurassic park :P..i cant shoot for nuts...
then later we went to jocelyn's house for the BBQ...i started off cooking some otah and they got burnt :P...well..not THAT burnt..still edible...then i gave up and started eating with the rest...had fun with jocelyn's 2 child...they super cute lei :P...then since i kenna sun burnt i look so red...hee hee...maybe they like reddish faces :P..cuz the younger girl smile at me when i played peek a boo...she smile cute lei :P...the stayed till abt 10 before leaving...
had such a blast of a day with great frens..im so fortunate to have all of them in my life...

2010-06-16T21:35:00.002+08:00

Well....wad an interesting day today :p..suddenly went to malaysia for the sake of shopping with my parents...interesting i guess...but boring...not much transformers there anyway...was kinda boring day...cant wait for tmr P

2010-06-15T23:02:00.002+08:00

WOO HOO!!!..imma happy cat...just went to watch nanny mcphee and it was kinda nice...im surprised cuz it looks so boring...but its a great show and i suggest you peepz give it a shot...
went to sakae sushi for dinner and ate katsu curry don...hmmm...stuffed myself full and feel FAT now :(
and the main thing of today is my latest addition to my TF collection...ARMADA MEGATRON!!
This guy is like 6 years old!...transformers armada first aired around 2004 and the toys came out almost the same time...im so surprised to see it sitting on the shelf together with so many other older transformers..but he's the oldest :P...and at good price too so i dashed into comics connection to grab it before the show...and spent alot of time at sakae sushi just looking at it :P...haha!

2010-06-15T14:00:00.002+08:00

heh heh...was talking last night when i found out something...Jim asked us in class recently who already have a mask for this class and i was one of them who raised up my hand...at that time i felt like a fake-o...but then i realised yesterday that the "mask" i have in class is exactly how i am at home....its like...i had a mask in secondaryy school...but now in poly who i am is really who i am..no "mask" required :P

2010-06-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

WEEE...had a mixed day today...
was forced outta bed to go get my passport thingy and forced again to wander around places that i dun like...rats...then later had lunch in some place on earth that i never knew existed...IM NOT FAT!!(random)...and then later went to bugis OG to exercise self control...saw a transformer and grabbed it immediately...then after wrestling with my inner voice then decided to put it back :P...felt the tug in my heart...sigh
then came home for awhile and then went out agian to pizza hut..tried the soccer pizza...was quite ok...but stuff myself like pig like that...now gonna become fat again...grrr...

2010-06-14T00:56:00.002+08:00

YAY!!!...had a really happy day today...
started off a little boring...woke up around 12 to go for lunch...the lunch was ok...went to seoul garden and the sotong i was cooking exploded and flew to earth knows where :P...then later went to PC show to get a new memory stick duo for myself at good price...but the crowd nearly squeeze the life outta me :x
Then after that went to celebrate CJ's birthday and was super funny...first we were deciding what to eat and we ended up at burger king :P...then peggy said she wanted to go to the toilet and disappeared...but after awhile i got a call frm her asking me to come out...then i found out that she was secretly buying a cake for CJ but did not bring out her purse :P...but all was well then...we surprised her with the cake and nicholas even cuter...he pulled out 2 apples from a red bag that ppl use to go "bai nian"...looked so funny...then we went out to the fountain of wealth there and took some pics before leaving...
although the meet up was short..its was so enjoyable becuz it was with great frens...and that's all that is important...
but then wad a way to end off the day..my dad's trying to get me off the computer now...and its his birthday -.-

2010-06-09T23:09:00.002+08:00

ARGH!!!...ARGH!!!!!...( dun continue cuz im gonna revert back to old self soon and theres gonna be quite a number of bad things )
IM PISSED AND F**KED NOW!!!...IVE CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE TO OTHERS AND HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT...WHY IS IT THAT YOU PPL CAN HAVE SUCH A CAREFREE LIFE...I WANTED IT TOO..AND I DID...BUT THEN THINGS MIGHT POP BY AND TEAR AWAY MY HAPPY, CAREFREE AND FREEDOM OF A LIFE...I MISSED THE TIMES WHEN ALL I THOUGHT OF WAS WHAT TO DO AFTER SCHOOL OR WHAT TO EAT...NOT CARING ABT THINGS LIKE "WILL SHE GET HURT AFTER SAYING THIS" OR OTHER THINGS LIKE THIS...I SHOULD HAVE HAD SELF CONTROL AND NOT RUSHED THINGS...NOW I SEEM LIKE IM IN THE WORST KIND OF OBLIGATION...AN OBLIGATION FOR LIFE!...LIFE!!!...THERE IT GOES...I WAN MY OLD LIFE BACK!!THE FREEDOM KIND OF LIFE...JUST BECUZ I LIKE TO HELP OTHERS DOES NOT MEAN I DUN NEED ANY HELP...BUT THEN WHY ARE THE MISTAKES I MADE SUCH MAJOR ONE...SO MAJOR THAT PPL ONLY RMB ME BY THAT...AND YET IM TREATED LIKE IM TRANSPARENT AND DEVOID OF EMOTIONS...IM STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED TOO OK?...

Im not saying that i no longer wanna help ppl...its just that i just found out that ppl are sad over something i did and this situation cannot be solved in a win win situation...its either i lose my freedom for that person's happiness or i get hated...i should never have started this at all...now i cant even find a solution for this...THIS SUX...WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE ME?...THE UNLUCKY THINGS ALL COME TO ME...IM RESISTING SO MUCH TO JUST RANT THINGS OUT BUT IT WILL RUIN SOME FRIENDSHIPS...AND I BELIEVE THAT THERES A SOLUTION...I WANT TO FIND IT....!!!!....PART OF ME IS SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW...IT USED TO BE GUILT...OR SADNESS...BUT NOW FOR SOME REASON IM SO FRUSTRATED...AND YET...I CANT FIND A COUNSELOR THAT CAN HELP...NOT MY MENTORS...DEFINITELY NOT MY MENTORS CUZ I'LL BE REPRIMANDED...I NEED ANOTHER COUNSELOR...PLEASE DUN BE LIKE THE OTHER PEOPLE AND IGNORE ME AS WELL...:(

2010-06-09T19:54:00.002+08:00

Today was an ok day...not much mood...but something kept nagging in my head :(
Yesterday one of my secondary school sec 4 classmate msn-ed me and asked me a question that nearly made be angry/sad...i had a previous post saying that i felt forgotten or im easily ignored...well thats true...this guy asked me a simple question : "you got go for 10th anniversary?" !!!...what got me sad/angry was that i talked to this guy on that day and was standing damn near him during the prize presentation...only different table...but am i so transparent among them?...to the point that i can be beside them and not noticed...or maybe there was never a need to notice me ...:(..oh well...i dun blame the guy...at least he still msn-ed me..so its not too bad i guess...sigh

Oh well...but today was kinda fun...went on a visit to a youth center...kinda interesting there...they have 2 Wii consoles....how cool :P...visiting there really made me want to work with youths and children in future...but it can get stressful i guess...oh and jim is back but still sick...haha...but im not gonna make another fallacy of causation again...after school...had vyncent, teddy and CJ over to my house...still no idea for what -.-...

Well...aside from the msn thing...im a happy boy again...but i feel my lips getting dry..shit :(

2010-06-08T09:58:00.002+08:00

ARGH!!...what a fiasco i made again -.-

was just reading a friend's blog and found out what a mistake i made...she needed the support and concern but i never gave it...why am i so bent on helping others when i cant even help those close to me...she went through so much...the least i could do was provide some emotional support...but i dun even know how to do that now...im afraid showing too much might send the wrong signal..causing more misunderstanding...while showing too little will seem like i don't care..so what is the moderate?...i never knew she saw me as completely not concerned :(...if you are reading this...im am still concerned abt you and will always do...just like everyone else..please so not see yourself as someone who dun deserve other's help...cuz did you know that thats how i feel?...how many times have you all helped me?...dun you think that everytime one of you helped me i will feel the urge to repay back...especially after the incident where i nearly fainted..all of you were so concerned...it made me feel so helpless...needing others to wait on me when you all should be doing constructive things like studying...i sometimes told myself as well that i do not deserve all this as well...but Jim told me to think " if you were in your frens shoe, will you do the same?...and would you ask for something in return? "...its true...if i help one of you...i would never ask for something in return...and i hope that you feel this way as well...i know the past few days i may ave shown little concern for you...but i do have a reason behind it..a reason that isn't convenient to write here...so plz...im still here as a support...dun see me as a person that doesn't care anymore...thats not true :)...like your brother said...the apple tree already vanished...chopped up...well...maybe...but even so...it can be made into a table or chair and continue supporting :D...

2010-06-07T20:06:00.002+08:00

AWW...me sad sad again...im feeling healthy now but my lecturer told me on facebook not to go to school for the next 2 days...i'll be bored stiff if i stay at home healthy lei...but then i scared if i go school then y lecturer not happy cuz i may spread to others :(...gar...

2010-06-07T13:39:00.003+08:00

How interesting to feel the sensation of fainting :P
haha...was in school today thinking im cured already...how naive...halfway through psychology lecture suddenly felt like vomiting...rushed out of the lecture hall and realized i was seeing everything blur and whitish...nothing could come in focus and i couldn't walk straight...so in panic...i tapped the nearest passerby to ask for help and thankfully she assisted me to a table where i could rest...thank earth that there are such people in the world...and i never got her name :(...oh well...but still...wad an interesting day :P
And also must thank my frens who was there for me...helped me buy fish porridge...which was pretty nice :P...and jim for sending me home...gotta find a way to repay their kindness one day :D
Okays...guess i should see a doctor soon and get some rest...must try and go school tmr...not gonna miss it unless im really dying...jkjk.

2010-06-07T07:04:00.002+08:00

GOSH!! last night sucked....went to sleep at abt 11.58 and was tossing and turning around...had to keep visiting the toilet cuz i drank lots of water...and the weak body didn't help...body felt so hot and heated and also cold...it was like this for so long till i lost track of time...to me it felt like hours has passed and when i received a message i thought the time was like 2 plus...but it showed 12.59...i thought to myself " crap..need to suffer for the rest of the night " ...and that i did...continued tossing and turning and going to the toilet the whole night...and everytime i walked past the clock to see when the horror will end :(...finally...around 5 plus i felt my body cure a little and the fever broke...felt more energized even though i did not sleep....now...only got cough and phlegm...thank the earth...:D

2010-06-06T22:04:00.001+08:00

GOSH...unlucky little me..fell sick and all...and have to keep it frm my parents so that they wont tell me to sleep early...i need to do research..
Well... despite yesterdays happiness..i fell sick with fever, headache and body ache...then this morning woke up with phlgem and flu...and now at night have fever and weak body again...dammit...hopefully cured tmr so that i can go school...last lecture before holidays are usually very impt...cant afford to miss it...
haiyo..too tired to even continue la...nitez ppl...still got a few more research to do

2010-06-05T23:18:00.001+08:00

WOOO!!...backs frm NBSS 10th anniversary dinner...was kinda fun but to say the truth...playing sports with my poly class was more fun :P...
For some reasons...i no longer feel bonded to my sec 4 class...not totally forgotten but it seems i can no longer fit in with them..not that i ever had an easy time trying to...but this time i had no inclination to join in the photo taking and all this chat...i got this feeling that they also forgot a little abt me anyway...i dun rmb the boys inviting me much for their little gathering and all this outing...no longer feel connected to most of them...only a few did rmb and im glad they exist...thank god theres my teachers who still have the courtesy to rmb. :(
Well..im not gonna fret over my past anymore...im thankful i have 25 new and awesome classmates...people that i can trust...im putting the trust that once belonged to 4G2 to SS1001...not that forgotten 4G2 completely...its just that..since you guys could always go out without me...i dun think it will be hard to continue doing that...but i know there are some that are still awesome...dun worry...i wont forget you all...
well...enough ranting and self disclosure...im still gonna be in school happy and bouncy...after all..next week is the last week before holidays start...cant wait.

2010-06-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

WEE!!!...its thursday again and had a great time playing sports with NYPSS frens again :P...badminton and captains ball this time...its good that the games exist cuz it helped me forget a bit of disappointment previously...
Lets start sad fist...had my counselling ICA today and i think i was the worst among all those who took their assessment today :(...jocelyn says i was talking too fast and jumbled my paraphrasing and questioning for one section...haiyoz...tried my best to be good...guess im not that lucky :P...but its ok....i was sad and now im still a little disappointed but im not gonna let it get into me :P...
Then after that the fun started...we had a time of silly photo taking and im still waiting for teddy to upload so i can use it as a profile pic :P...then we played some ball games in class...yes i know we should not do that :P...then finally we moved to the proper court...started off with a bit of badminton and a group including me was passing balls around...then finally the captain ball match started...was fun and could not stop laughing...sinthu kept falling throughout the whole game lor...poor girl :D...but anyways...the boys won the match but i can see im not on form to play captains ball..had a lot of attempted score but missed :P..too bad..
Then it was back to playing badminton and had a small match with jocelyn...was shabby compared to her....hee hee...she's quite good at badminton lei ( give me more marks for this ! jkjk ).
Then finally went home tired like crap...haha..today was fun i guess..if not for the counselling thingy :P...but next week wont be so good....guess theres gonna be alot to do...must enjoy our 3 days weekend well :P

2010-06-02T22:47:00.003+08:00

Great..im sad again :(
I feel like a jinx...seems like everywhere i go i bring trouble with me lei...people nearly fell and lost their live becuz of me...caused others to have to go through trouble that i avoided...caused books in my care to be damaged...caused others to feel bad or worried becuz of me...caused others to feel sad becuz of my faults...the list goes on :( i feel like a curse or plague...
I think im gonna try and avoid unnecessary contact with others already...in order to protect their interest as well as my own...no idea why all this kinda misfortune falls on me...my lips keep getting infected...ulcers in my mouth...and some others that i dun even wanna say :(
Lucky the book thing was forgiven :(..or i'll feel like crap the whole week :(

2010-05-27T19:30:00.002+08:00

Haha..today finally feels like a proper Thursday in social sciences context :D
I believe most of us had a great time there...feels good to finally get to play badminton again...and so many things happened today after the last tutorial :D...first we played silly gamez like concentration in class...:P...even jocelyn joined in...while jim was deciding wad forfeit we do if we are forfeited...then we played badminton in class which was kinda a disaster due to the lack of space...so we moved to the area downstairs our class block...there we played badminton and some of the girls was running around splashing water at each other...then jim had the bright idea of splashing water from his office and i kenna 3 times :(...after awhile jocelyn came down and even joined us for a game...who knew she could play badminton rather well?...she then told us something super funny...at first when she and jim was in the office they heard us screaming and making noise...they were thinking to themselves that it cant be us because they thought we were still in class...so they were saying that there was another class that was even crazier than ours...so they peeked outta the window and nearly fainted :P...its us!!...the title of craziest class is still ours :D...so we played a bit more and went home
Today really is one of the more fun days for me...a time where i could just enjoy myself and fells so good :)

Debate...and confusion...

2010-05-26T20:35:00.005+08:00

WOO HOO!!!...congrats to the debate team!!...first competition of our course and you guys got second!!..thats really awesome!!!

And i really feel that our class is rather united when it comes to think kinda thingz..and that really rawks!!im sure the team will make it far..like all the way to the inter-poly competition!!..we'll always support you guys and gals!!
but more to private life...i've messed up again :(..just like about 1 year ago...same mistake and all :(..i feel like someone who haven't learnt his lesson :(...and that made me think more abt myself...but i kinda like myself the way i am and i don't plan to change it anytime soon...but i feel like a jinx that keeps hurting others around me...

Not really sure where i would go from here...just follow where the road goes as usual :(

Updating my life

2010-05-25T20:48:00.003+08:00

Haha...so much has happened in the past weeks and im generally a happy boy :D
Being in nanyang poly social science ( NYPSS ) has been the best times of my life...I have 2 awesomest and greatest lecturers!...25 great friends...1 amazing environment and a lot more things...things im learning are really interesting and i enjoy wad i am doing and what i will be doing in future :) So many things happened in class that its endless if i talk abt it here...but just to sum up a bit...i slept in one lecture cuz of the camp...i found a " brother " i could trust everything to...and hunter to hunt monsters with...and something else that mustn't be said :P
workload is kinda piling up for me but not gonna let that stop me frm going on...using games to de-stress and its working some what...havent been meddling with my transformers recently and i kinda feel regretful...but still...i have other things to do :P
Been updating my other blog which contains extremist views that shouldn't be shared now...but that keeps me entertained
and theres also so much other things to say but i guess only ppl around me can see it :P...i know its kinda an abrupt ending but i cant think of anything to say anymore :P

yay...no more camp!!

2010-05-23T11:40:00.002+08:00

YAY!! back frm camp and feeling good!..although the camp itself wasn't that fantastic but still...its over and i can get back to my more meaning-ful life :P ( NYPSS life...NBSS comes second :P )
no la..actually both are equally important to me...which is why even in camp im still thinking of whether jocelyn posted new work on the forum or not :D
anyways...the camp wasn't as enjoyable cuz i found myself feeling like a messenger pigeon..." justin, go tell alvin that..." heard sentences like this almost everytime i meet some higher authority...but that wasn't s bad for me cuz i get to run around and exercise...but then Jim was right..again. People tend to rmb the bad things and forget the good ones...i screwed something up badly and seems like thats what most ppl would be remembering me for instead of the boy who ran all over the place finding things and making sure that they wont starve to death...oh well..guess now im probably remembered by another thing already ( dun really feel like saying it cuz it sucks to recall it )
but other than that it was ok...kinda boring and walking around at night really helps you think...and for some reason...i dun really feel tired with only abt 2-3 hrs of sleep...the start i will feel tired but then further down would be energetic lei...but i think in my mind im really tired..
anyways...gonna start on some forum homework soon but first..gotta go for lunch..a PROPER lunch :P
Byes :P

Camp time

2010-05-21T14:05:00.002+08:00

Woke up super late by my standards today...its camp time and for the first time im not the one camping :P...no idea hows its gonna be like on the other end of the " food chain" :P

but somethings isn't changed...my bag is still half packed...my pocket still has that special something and my torch is the only thing i like :P...
The times preceding the camp weren't that fun though...maybe cuz i was thinking of other things more than it..but still...hope i cant enjoy da camp...been sulking through the 4 yrs of camp and really see no reason to sulk through this year as well :P
SO...no post for Saturday cuz i will be there and if im not too tired i might post on sunday after the camp...OH CRAP..forgot to bring camera.* rushes off *

The past months :P

2010-05-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

Yes..i finally know the effect of having a blog..its really good...
Anyways..my last post was abt 6 months ago i think and lots of things happened this past months...The O lvl results went well...poly entry went well...frens making went well...work did not go well :P...

Poly life was easy to adjust to but really hard to cope with the work and presentations. at first thought it was quite easy but then it turned out to be even harder than i thought :(
then there is the BB camp to settle and there were so much conflict with my roles as a student and helper...had to juggle around with things and it wasn't easy...i never understood why a helper had to do more things then the primers :(...maybe they have other more impt things to do i guess...both parties are right cuz we have our own priorities...but the things is how we cope with the things and not abt who gets what...theres truth in all perspectives. ( Pillow method )
hopefully i will be more disciplined to do more regular post now.
-Jus Ding Dong Tan :P

ITS BEEEN MONTHS!!!

2009-09-30T17:15:00.001+08:00

yes yes...i know...its been months since i had an entry...but i had no idea what to put...call me lazy la :)...anyway...had a dream last night with mr singh scolding the life out of me...got a feeling this will come true:(

1/7/09

2009-07-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

Oh well...sucky day today thx to maths lessons...and blue-black still havent cure(curtesy of zarny)...well...frm now on mt A maths free period will be considered as my E maths lesson and Mr liew will be my E maths teacher...My E maths lesson will now be my A maths free period :)...surprisingly...the teachers not giving much homework yet...and curse keith...or not the class would have gotten 2 bucks each...making mr sim $72 poorer :P

29/6/09

2009-06-29T16:56:00.001+08:00

First day back...got homework liao (obviously)...and found out that im gonna be stuck in mdn au class with that creature beside me again!! grrr...bad luck!!

28/6/09

2009-06-28T12:40:00.002+08:00

hmmm..got a new transformers yesterday...skids twin...nthing much happened anywayzz

26/6/09

2009-06-26T10:32:00.001+08:00

mm hmm...morning post :P...had another O lvl related nightmare :(
dreamt that i got 42/70 for paper 2 but the other results cannot remember...but i know overall i think i fail :(...can even remember vividly kar en saying "wa lau, you got 42 leh"

O.O 25/6/09

2009-06-25T11:07:00.001+08:00

OOO...Transformers 2 rawkszzz.....so cool...especially the fight scenes...nut kinda disappointed that jetfire had to die just so optimus can fly...was hoping that thay could combine on their own...on the whole...the show still rocks...must watch!!!
humph....zarny is back to bullying me and people plz do tell me...is zarny kind hearted...he claims himself to be so!!!

YAY!!!~

2009-06-24T12:31:00.001+08:00

YAY...watching TF2 tonight...so hard to get good seats cuz alot of other ppl book in advance liao...finally got the 9.40 time slot and a set at the third last row...phew!!

SHYTZ!!!

2009-06-23T08:30:00.001+08:00

morning post...had a nightmare -.-"

dreamt that i got 54/100 for "O" lvl chinese paper...CRAP!!!

close frens would remember that i dreamt abt getting 48 for maths mid year and that was exactly what i got..OH god please DONT make it true..zzz

2009-06-21T17:58:00.002+08:00

HMMM!!!...an afternoon post this time cuz at night cannot use the com..zzz... so nthing happened the past few days anyway...had a aleep over, went out wif parents, boring boring boring...no new transformers somemore!!!
next week gonna be boring so anything plz do call me along..but oso hafta start homework, dun even know whether got maths hw or not -.-"
last of all...zarny did not bully me for almost a week liao, peace!! (i think he cruising somewhere in the artic ocean or something la)

15/6/09

2009-06-15T22:08:00.003+08:00

Bro's birthday today so spent the whole day out lor...go woodlands for lunch and stuffed myself up...sure put on a few kilos one..zzz...then wen to AMK hub to watch land of the lost..quite funny sia!! ohoh...forgot...bought two new transformers at woodlands metro.,..YAY!!

Sideswipes rox and skids was a surprise...i hate michael bay and Industrials light and magic for screwing up a figure like skids...HE GOT BUCK TOOTH...ZZZ...ugly lor, but everything else quite ok la...

Then at night go for late night supper and now writing this...guess thats all, nitez!!!

12/6/09---class outing.

2009-06-12T20:12:00.003+08:00

WOW!!!...today is so fun...woke up feeling excited of the day to come...bath bath, eat eat...the usual first. Then go school, meet frens, assemble, meet guides, mark attedance, blah blah blah... then take bus to marina area....took loads of pics, cant upload on facebook..zzzzz

The amazing race was boring..zzz...but the sights were quite good...then lunch was ok...the interclass competition was funzz!!!, our captain ball team did not make it to semi, but we still had loads of laughs. Jakeh's team made it thought, GOOD JOB GUYS!!!(Jakeh, Sebastian, Gerjo, Geraldine, Hao xue, jing sheng, zhi yong)...and came in third or second...cant remember.then go home, bath and found out that the sole of my feet got blister due to the game...ouchiee!!

Dinner, after that computer marathon(around now la) than after that planning to sleep...super tired...good nitez!!

2009-06-11T21:26:00.001+08:00

Why does zarny keep bullying me?-random

rotf sideswipes

2009-06-11T18:58:00.003+08:00

WOW!!! new transformers toys look so good!!! like this one..sideswipes!!

2009-06-11T17:54:00.000+08:00

zzzzzzz...still havent found a good enough media box...anyone with a good one plz tell me..lol